People spend hours working on their physical health. But did you know your Mental Health can be worked just like a muscle?
In this episode the guys talk about building Mental Health using strategies such as Self-Care, Breathing, Journaling, Exercise, Friendships, Nutrition, and others. Implementing some or all of these techniques can make you more mentally and emotionally resilient.
Past Episodes:
Episode #67 – Physical Exercise and Mental Health with Dr. Denny Morrison
Episode #21 – Friendship; The Lost Relationships in Life
Episode #55 – The Keto Diet and Depression with Dana Fatic
Recommended Reading:
Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nester
Tune in to see Mental Health Strategies Through a Therapist’s Eyes!
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Current Event Topic:
A Police Shooting in Wisconsin Reignites Protests
Episode #96 Transcription
Chris Gazdik: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. I am still Chris Gazdik. He is Mr. Craig Graves. I am a mental health and substance abuse therapist. Do you have a book coming available soon? Sometime forever from now in March, I guess. Rediscovering emotions and becoming your best self. Greg’s an Unbeatable Mind coach. And we welcome you to Through a Therapist’s Eyes, the podcast, see the world through the lens of a therapist and a coach being aware. This is not the delivery of therapy services in any way. Check out the website throughatherapistseyes.com, where you can get full show transcriptions. We are Craig kind of reborn we are re-at it weekly shows. You do help the show grow. So please help us with that. Put comments out on social media, put us on automatic download that helps our numbers that helps this become a better and actual business. So, Mr. Graves, this is the human emotional experience. What shall we do says you
Craig Graves: [00:01:13] Let’s figure it out together.
Chris Gazdik: [00:01:14] All right. All right. We got a lot to cover. Man. It’s it’s, it’s actually really cool. to not have guests. We have had so many guests lately. Would you agree?
Craig Graves: [00:01:25] We have, we had some good ones. I’ve enjoyed the conversations, man.
Chris Gazdik: [00:01:28] Absolutely. Couldn’t agree more. but it is fun just to be kind of back on the mic, just you and me kicking stuff around and we’re going to have two in a row that way.
got some excellent. Guests coming up though. really I gotta beat on the ketamine thing and you know what I mean, beat on today.
Craig Graves: [00:01:45] What’s that
Chris Gazdik: [00:01:46] Cults.
Craig Graves: [00:01:47] Really? Yeah, that should be interesting
Chris Gazdik: [00:01:50] way way. So I got a new term for you today, man.
Craig Graves: [00:01:57] So real quick though. What is, what is ketamine? Is that the psychedelic?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I’m looking forward to hearing about that.
Chris Gazdik: [00:02:03] You keep on saying ketamine, it’s a close compound, but they, they do something else that I just forget what it’s called, but it’s kind of locked in my brain that way. but you would recognize the other more accurate compound name than what I’m just kind of blanking on right now, but, Oh, we’ve got a new term for you.
News blues.
Craig Graves: [00:02:24] News blues can’t wait to hear what this one is.
Chris Gazdik: [00:02:28] They get something that we’re all experiencing. I’m going to do it, do a current event, and we do our shows and post them and kind of stay present with what we’re doing. So we can comment on current events and things that are going on in real time, partly but mostly by design.
And, you know, we did the show and racism stuff and, shared with the audience. I don’t know if I should have I shared the two week thing. No, not yet. I’ve been talking about with my clients a lot, you know, I hear so many people, Craig there talk about, you know, Hey, meet his bed, messes with your mental health.
I know, I know. I know. All I do is I watched 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at night. Yeah. You hear people talking about that?
Craig Graves: [00:03:09] I’ve heard similar things. A lot of that.
Chris Gazdik: [00:03:11] Yeah. We, you know, I’m kind of calling for more than that. I’m finding my people are really struggling, you know, people were just were wore out with compassion.
Fatigue is a term and,
Craig Graves: [00:03:23] compassion, fatigue.
Chris Gazdik: [00:03:25] Yeah. Burnout. That’s what we’re gonna talk about next year.
Craig Graves: [00:03:28] Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: [00:03:29] I think we’re all feeling it is, is my point. And I’m calling for something more. I mean, if you really want to deal with mental health, And, and you’re realizing that the social media is driving you nuts.
And you know, the news media is really kind of getting at you, man. I’m calling for people and I’ve had several people I’ve challenged in my therapy room to take two full weeks, man. Just try there. Ain’t nothing going to happen that you really need to know about two full weeks. And, don’t watch anything.
I mean, I’m talking about morning. I’m not talking about nightly news. I mean, even the weather for that matter, right. Like just real. And that was the best two weeks I had in awhile after
Craig Graves: [00:04:04] Best two weeks of my life,
Chris Gazdik: [00:04:08] you know? So that’s a suggestion for all y’all out there. I don’t, I don’t think, I don’t think cutting it down to a small amount. Daily is really good enough. I really feel like we need more. When we have identified, I’m getting wore out from this stuff too solid weeks.
Craig Graves: [00:04:21] That’s that’s probably not a bad idea just to complete fast is what you’re saying. No, no news.
Chris Gazdik: [00:04:28] Now I failed tonight. Kamala came out and was on ticket.
I actually failed during that two weeks, I popped on for five minutes and I actually was disappointed with myself that I knew who was picked as the, as the vice president candidate. But that was, that was like towards the end of my two weeks.
Craig Graves: [00:04:43] Yeah. You know, we’ve talked about media, we were just talking about that before we started recording.
It’d be cool to have Roger back on to talk about media again, man. I’m concerned about the country, the way the media reports news and
Chris Gazdik: [00:04:56] it’s being more and more of a problem
Craig Graves: [00:04:58] Dude. It’s a huge problem. In my opinion, you know, you know, like Donald Trump or not John McCain before he passed away, he said that Trump’s attacks on the media where we’re the biggest threat to our, to our democracy.
And I disagree with the Senator the late Senator. I think the biggest threat to our democracy is the media itself, because I think the reporting is so biased and one sided and they twist it. And that, that I think is influencing people’s thinking in the right, in the wrong way, they’re basically pushing an agenda and, you really gotta dig under the covers.
To get the truth.
Chris Gazdik: [00:05:37] You and I have talked about that many times as of late tonight. I agree it’s being twisted around and, and, and, and just used very poorly. I think also attacking the media. Is also a dangerous plot line. I go both ways. So I do agree with the late Senator to a certain extent, because we can’t just banish the media as something that serves a huge, psychological purpose, cultural purpose for our society.
We can’t just get rid of it, but the way that it’s operating and the way that we are, you know, calling fake news, just because it doesn’t agree with our, I hate to fake news, you know, it’s, it’s a bad term and it’s. And it’s, and it’s a platform within the media that is used for totally for agenda. I think it’s all, all proper.
Craig Graves: [00:06:24] Yeah. I, I, you know what, I, I’m pretty hard on the media, on the podcast. We, when we talk about it, but I don’t want to banish it. And I’d said this when we had Roger own, I just want it to be fair. Yeah. I want the people on, on the major news networks to be as hard on the Democrat as they are on the Republican and vice versa.
But you, but you watch these shows and I throw these democratic People Soft balls, and then they’re calling out these Republicans, man. I mean, you can see it clearly. you can see the bias very clearly. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: [00:06:56] I almost don’t want them to be hard or soft. I just want them to be factual.
Craig Graves: [00:07:00] I want them to be fair.
Just fair
Chris Gazdik: [00:07:03] factual. That’s it?
Craig Graves: [00:07:04] Yeah. Fair and factual
Chris Gazdik: [00:07:05] The days. We’re going down a bunny hole, but that’s okay. Cause it’s part of the current event and it’s part of my news blues. You know, The days long ago when you, and I remember we were kids, I mean, one of the most trusted people in America and, you know, he was right.
Craig Graves: [00:07:21] Yeah. Walter Cronkite. Right. But the difference was we had local news from six to six 30 national news from six 30 to seven, then we watched the Jeffersons or Archie bunker. God help us. Can you imagine if the Jeffersons or Archie bunker on TV today?
Chris Gazdik: [00:07:35] Oh, my God. I got news blues
Craig Graves: [00:07:39] mental health issues.
Chris Gazdik: [00:07:41] Yeah, let’s move on.
I mean, because of the news, blues has hit me mean we’ve got so much going on, man, and it’s just, it’ll get ya. I mean, you know, the hurricane, you know, we have a, we have a mutual friend. Connected with I’m looking forward to catching a, a, a word of, okay. I haven’t gotten one today.
Craig Graves: [00:07:56] He’s fine. I talked to him.
Chris Gazdik: [00:07:57] Good. I did not get, he didn’t get back with me cause we got a hurricane and that isn’t even barely on the headlines and you know, the conferences, conferences, the conventions. you know, the pandemic and yet here we go again. We’ve got to show, thank you, Neil, for getting that together. Cause I was swamped today and he’s got on our show notes, a, wall street journal podcast where, the current event of a police shooting in Wisconsin.
Reignites the protest is the title of this show. And I want to refer to the audience to it because I think it does a pretty good description of what happened. I’m actually not totally up on it, but they’re advertised description or their show reads as such last night was the second night of fires and protests in Kenosha, Wisconsin, following a police shooting of a black man there.
WSJs Aaron Ailworth describes what is like on the ground and how the death of George Floyd factors in how these new protests are playing out. I mean, Here’s here’s a quote, Craig. I thought it was apropos and perfectly fitting from where we went before Martin Luther King jr. Quote, the limitations of riots. Moral questions aside is that they cannot win. And their participants know it. Hence rioting is not revolutionary, but reactionary causing invites to feed. It involves an emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility unquote. And I went back to that because fires and protests. And I heard part on the show, you know, guys saying, you know what, the whole American United States needs burned down.
So what we need to do is people are frustrated, they’re angry and I get it. It was a horrible scene again. And I know a lot of people are hurting out there in a way that in many ways that I can’t even comprehend being who I am, but. It just sucks to see that again. And I, and I don’t think, and I, and I’m sorry, audience, I’m a little unprepared because I don’t even have the gentleman’s name.
I do understand that he is still alive and he’s paralyzed. so we’ll be able to hear from him, you know, more than likely, and that’s going to be an interesting part of all of this, So I, you know, I, and I know people are recovering now from a hurricane, we’re recording this on the 27th, you know?
Craig Graves: [00:10:07] Let’s go. Yeah, let’s touch back on that for just one second. You know, these are, I don’t think of these things as protests. I think of these things as riots, you know, and speaking of speaking of the news media, so I’m looking at a New York post article, it says CNN blasted for caption calling. Kenosha protest fiery, but mostly peaceful.
These are, these are riots folks and the people in our world who have made the biggest impact have been men like Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi. You know, how many buildings did Martin Luther King burn or how many buildings did mahatma, Gandhi burn.
Chris Gazdik: [00:10:48] They were none.
Craig Graves: [00:10:49] Peaceful. Protestors who made a huge impact on our own society and on the world in general.
So these, the way this has happened and is being done, it’s, it’s not, it’s not going to make any change. It’s just going to continue to divide people. So if people genuinely want change, we need to move back into a more peaceful mode of, of getting that point across
Chris Gazdik: [00:11:11] Agreed, but change needs to happen. And I hope that we, and do believe that we, as a society can, can shed progress on this situation.
I am an eternal hope.ful person. And I believe in that and I believe in our country, and I believe in the things that people are struggling with. as I started to say, you know, I mean, there’s a hurricane and people are hurting financially with the pandemic and physically people are knowing people. I know people that, that have been, very terribly sick, afraid of being sick, which I hope fear is not driving this all guys, but, and, you know, I have a colleague that lost somebody, You know down in Florida and it’s just a it’s real.
And so I thought, you know what apropos with all of this stuff going on, I’ve thought what a good time to go all about mental health strategies? You know, I really hope that people find this episode helpful because I think that it’s something that we really need to be steeped in engrossed with ever presently mindful about was that for some words, Sometimes the stuff just comes to me right.
To live it and to manage it. So, because if we don’t, it manages us, you know, the guy that is, you said that on the interview, I’d be willing to say he would hear his comments played back and be like, yo, you know, when he calms down, that’s not what I meant. Burn the country to the ground. Come on. If it feels like that probably don’t need me living here.
Number one, you know, But that’s pretty radical, but, but when you’re, when your emotions are in fear and anger are driving decisions and behavior, people will do it. And that’s scary and not helpful. I don’t know. It makes sense.
Craig Graves: [00:12:58] Yeah, it does.
Chris Gazdik: [00:13:01] Yeah, my news blues kind of got me today a little bit, man. I ain’t gonna lie.
I was just like, dude, this is too much right now.
Craig Graves: [00:13:06] I think that’s a great idea. If you know, if, if you’re out there listening and you take Chris’s let’s, let’s pose it as a challenge. We challenge our listeners to do it two week news fast and then let us know how that goes. Agreed. Yeah. Just, just notice the change in your, your mental health.
If you, if you take two weeks off from news, no news for two weeks, not even a headline. No. Well, I guarantee you won’t die, right? You’ll survive. And you may be pleasantly surprised about your, the space between your ears at the end of that,
Chris Gazdik: [00:13:37] I felt it. I really did. And, and you know what the, you know, the national Republican national convention it’s, it’s done tonight and that’s fine.
So, you know, there’s really nothing. I mean, I understand you might want to see the debates you want to be. I don’t know what’s going on, you know, starting today, whatever, I guess isn’t going to air today, but. Yeah. Somewhere around after August 27th, very much going to be going on the next two weeks that you have gotten.
Craig Graves: [00:13:59] Yeah. Right. I agree. And I, and I do think people should do their homework before this election. And, you know, don’t be afraid to look at new sources you wouldn’t normally look at, so you can find out what these people really stand for, whether you’re a Biden Harris or a Trump Pence. I mean, Dig dig down because you really don’t always get the true story.
Chris Gazdik: [00:14:24] Is that what it is? Biden Harris. Trump Pence. That’s the first time I actually thought of that yet this year, that’s the bumper stickers we’re going to see.
Craig Graves: [00:14:31] That’s it.
Mr.
Chris Gazdik: [00:14:32] Graves. I got a question for you. Put them on a spot. He’d been doing this for a minute. What is the corner? Don’t look at the sheet cheat sheets there.
What is the cornerstone of mental health?
Craig Graves: [00:14:46] The cornerstone of mental health is self care.
Chris Gazdik: [00:14:49] Then did you get it from the look or did you, I was about ready to help you actually,
Craig Graves: [00:14:54] I did see that I looked at the notes earlier, but I would have probably I think so. Yeah,
Chris Gazdik: [00:14:59] I think so. Because you know, it is, it is a big part of mental health strategies.
So to get into this topic, you know, I get, I get people all the time, Craig, that. You know come to therapy and they will make some kind of statement or some kind of question. They’ve got a presenting problem or, you know, an area of their life that they want to focus on and stuff. And I will oftentimes very much get people say, you know, I want some strategies I want, I want you to give me some strategies, some things to think about in how to deal with this, whatever this pronoun light might be.
And, but right from the get go, I, you know, I’ve said, and I probably said on the show, actually, if you guys are following, You know, you can Google lists, you can get a good list. Actually. I was of surprised when I was doing show prep that you kind of can’t there’s, there’s not really like a strong, full, big list out there.
To be honest with you,
Craig Graves: [00:15:47] of what, self care?
Chris Gazdik: [00:15:49] Of mental health strategies
Craig Graves: [00:15:51] sounds like an opportunity for you. Sorry. You know what I mean?
Chris Gazdik: [00:15:53] Yeah. Yeah. Maybe so, you know, I mean five number one, you know, five lists to manage stress, you know, seven strategies to cope with anxiety. I mean, you’ve got all these articles out there, but dude, there’s more than that.
These guys are looking at me. Like I gotta have to, did I just booger myself into a blog guys? We did have me
Craig Graves: [00:16:17] You could write a book on this topic.
Chris Gazdik: [00:16:20] Actually. You really can. Well, I kind of did. so real quick, I don’t know if I talk about the other parts of the three cares. The self care is the cornerstone of mental health there’s relationship care and physical care.
And those are the two other components. Call them the friendly three, you know, self care. We’ve talked about fond, relaxing, enjoyable activities, or relaxing and distracting rather from life stress. And they’re not self destructive in any way, and they’re not work related to that.
Craig Graves: [00:16:45] Chris run back through that list of priorities that we talked about.
Chris Gazdik: [00:16:49] God, self, spouse, kids, family, friends, work on the bottom.
Craig Graves: [00:16:54] Yes. Self was number two. Right? So we get, we get that wrong a lot. We put kids or spouse ahead of ourselves, but what you’re saying is put the mask on yourself before you. Help the person beside you, right?
Chris Gazdik: [00:17:05] Yeah, we did a lot on that, but really we’re very beginning of our show if I remember correct.
Craig Graves: [00:17:09] That’s right.
Chris Gazdik: [00:17:10] You know, and not in the picture, if you’re not a religious oriented person. Okay. Selves at the top of the list. And we tend to put, you know, our spouse before us or our kids before us. And yeah, we could go on that for awhile, but relationship care. Is it the same thing as self care it’s just done with other people, the physical care is all those things taken care of our body, you know, gotta have the nutrition.
You believe that, right? Oh yeah. Gotta have the exercise. I know you believe that, right?
Craig Graves: [00:17:38] Absolutely. You got to have the sleep
Chris Gazdik: [00:17:40] right.
Craig Graves: [00:17:40] Sleep was probably the cornerstone of physical health in my opinion.
Chris Gazdik: [00:17:43] Really? That’s
Craig Graves: [00:17:44] to say that. Yeah, because I mean, if you don’t sleep well, you know, especially as I get older, dude, I physically, if I don’t sleep I physically hurt, man.
I mean, it’s, you know, It’s miserable. We should do a show on sleep and mental health.
Chris Gazdik: [00:17:59] Mr. Neil, I think we have Mr. Graves here held accountable for writing about that. That is an awesome quote.
Craig Graves: [00:18:06] Sleep is the cornerstone of health? Yeah, I mean, it probably is, right.
Chris Gazdik: [00:18:11] That is a takeaway right there. I’ve never thought of that.
And I think you’re dead
Craig Graves: [00:18:14] on yeah. Lack of sleep. He used to be a badge of honor, but these days, man, everybody you listen to in the health world says, Hey, get some sleep.
Chris Gazdik: [00:18:21] You know what? That’s true. Yep. Absolutely used to be a badge of, I only need three, four hours of sleep.
Craig Graves: [00:18:27] I’m good to go.
Chris Gazdik: [00:18:29] And I’ve always been funny about that, man.
I’ve always been a nine hour guy, to be honest with you. And I just don’t get that anymore.
Craig Graves: [00:18:35] I just got to have my sleep, man. Like that Kramer. The Seinfeld episode. Remember that one where Kramer bus ah no sleep all wired up. Jacked up. Yeah, that’s a good one.
Chris Gazdik: [00:18:47] It is a good one. Mr. Graves, tell us about breathing.
That’s a big number two on our list. We talked about doing his show on it, which by the way, we could probably really do a whole show in any one of these, to be honest with you,
Craig Graves: [00:19:01] but we could probably do. I probably should do a breathing show. I’ve talked about breath before on the show, as it relates to the unbeatable mind, but I’ve been reading a great book.
Chris called Breath: New Science of a Lost Art is by a guy named James nester. And I heard him on Joe Rogan and also on Ben Greenfield. And he said, talking about the importance of breathing through the nose and all the health benefits that, that we get by nostril breathing. Now, most people are chronic mouth breathers.
They’re breathing through the mouth, but there’s all these different things that happen. Nitrous oxide production, when we breathe through the nose, it’s just, yeah, it’s fascinating. And I haven’t read. Enough about it to give you a list of all the things he talks about, but he talks about mental health a lot.
There, some therapists use breath to treat anxiety, depression,
Chris Gazdik: [00:19:57] hugely. So
Craig Graves: [00:19:58] even schizophrenia, Chris, I mean, he talks about one therapist in there. Who’s used breath to, I don’t know if cut down or exactly what happened, but this patient. Got relief from schizophrenia just by nostril breathing, changing their nostril breathing patterns.
Chris Gazdik: [00:20:13] Yeah. I mean, it’s core part of anything that you do. I mean, if you’re doing hypnosis you’d do you do breathing? If you don’t got an imagery, don’t breathing. If you want to relaxation, you’re doing breathing. If you’re doing self care, you probably wanna incorporate Breathing. I mean, it’s a. It’s a core,
Craig Graves: [00:20:25] it’s a core piece.
It’s a core piece, man, and people who are listening price a yeah, you have breath. I’ve been breathing my whole life, you know, but, but the thing is, is we’re not breathing correctly. We’re breathing either, either too much. Most people breathe 16 to 20 times per minute, which kind of puts us into a fight or flight response state.
Whereas we should be breathing much less, which brings us back down into that. I think it’s alpha, right?
Chris Gazdik: [00:20:50] I’m not sure where you mean
Craig Graves: [00:20:53] relaxed state. You know, if we, if we’re over-breathing, it puts us into a more heightened state, which taps into our sympathetic nervous system, relaxed, breathing, controlled, relaxed, breathing, and less breathing brings us back down into that parasympathetic state and relaxes.
If we’re in the heightened state, high blood pressure, anxiety, other health issues start coming up. And that’s where most of us live on a daily basis and 16 to 20 breaths per minute. So you can, you can imagine what happens to our bodies over a period of time. And in that heightened state, I,
Chris Gazdik: [00:21:29] I want to challenge it.
Greg. I want to hear so much more about what you read about to do that because we do need to do a whole show, right? This stuff, and there’s a lot there. And it was, I think it was a lot more in your head than even, you probably realize this is how intelligent this makes me sound the main effects of slow breathing techniques cover on an anatomic central nervous system activity, as well as the psychological status, slow breathing techniques, promote autonomic changes, increasing heart rate variability.
And a respiratory sinus arrhythmia paralleled by the central nervous system activity modifications. EEG studies actually show an increase in what you were talking about alpha and a decrease in feta power automatically the only available FMR study highlights, increased activity in cortical example, prefrontal motor and parental corticals is brain parts and sub-cortical example, pawns Thelma’s subpar.
Barranca your nucleus. deck. Oh, I was doing so good, whatever gray matter, basically in the brain and the hypothalamus structures, right? Psychological and behavioral outputs relate to the above. Four mentioned changes in increased comfort, relaxation, pleasant as bigger and alertness and reduced symptoms, reduced symptoms and arousal, anxiety, depression, anger, and confusion.
Now I partly read that. Honestly. I was good on you for reading, but. T to kind of make the point with those words in that information. If you play that back, that’s what you were just talking about in your own words, like deep, powerful, fundamentally biological realities in the brain. So to pair it, what you were saying, people do not realize.
I do not realize when I’m working with people with breadth, how much in depth. That influences the way you feel.
Craig Graves: [00:23:24] Oh, it’s fascinating. The book I’m reading I’m about halfway through. It’s really, really fascinating. Some of the stuff that, James Nestor’s talking about in there and about how important it is to breathe through the nose and how ancient cultures for years have been, you know, thousands of years have been nose breathers, native Americans.
There’s a, another book that was written in the mid 18 hundreds by a guy. Who, went out West and visited 150 different tribes in North and South America. And the common thing between all these tribes is these folks nose breathed. Okay. So much so that their, that the mothers would hold the baby’s mouth shut at night to force them to nose, breathe and do other things to learn how to breathe, learn
Chris Gazdik: [00:24:04] how to breathe
Craig Graves: [00:24:04] properly.
You need to learn how to breathe properly. And there’s science going back that tells us that. Too much mouth breathing changes the structure of our faces and our skulls. So like crooked teeth, if a kid has really crocked teeth, that that’s probably a result of chronic mouth breathing. I mean, it’s fascinating, really fascinating.
What, what he’s talking about in there.
Chris Gazdik: [00:24:27] I want more of that.
Craig Graves: [00:24:29] And you know, if you guys have been listeners for a while, you remember when you and I had the conversation, you said, Hey, what are you doing? You seem calmer. Yep. You know, and that was basically from up in my, my breathing practice, you know, so I get up in the mornings and do 20 minutes of, of a box breathing practice.
And, I try to do that every day. I don’t always get it in.
Chris Gazdik: [00:24:46] What happened to you being calmer?
Craig Graves: [00:24:48] Yeah. Yeah, I know right out the window. It’s coronavirus and news media is, and it’s like a news break, man.
Chris Gazdik: [00:24:54] Tell us real quick box breathing. Try not to take too long because we’ve already gone a long time on this, and there’s so much more to get to.
This is number two, self care. Number one, breathing. Number two, hold on Craig. And there’s also four seven, eight breathing, exhale through the mouth. Two eight count inhale through the nose for count hold breath for four for seven counts. What is box breathing?
Craig Graves: [00:25:14] Yes. So box breathing. You, you just inhale to a predetermined count.
So if it’s five, you inhale to a count of five. You hold for a count of five. You exhale to a count of five.
Chris Gazdik: [00:25:23] Oh, and what next?
Craig Graves: [00:25:25] And then you hold at the bottom for a count of five.
Chris Gazdik: [00:25:27] We always forget that one.
Craig Graves: [00:25:28] And then you repeat. You know, I do that 20 minutes, 20 minutes per day.
Chris Gazdik: [00:25:33] Yeah. And I think the point that I would make is there really are.
I always get frustrated. Maybe it’s part of my personality, you I’m up conferences and breathing comes up and they kind of tell you exactly how to breathe. Okay. Use your mood, purse your lips, make a sound, you know, that’s all good and fine. That’s that’s good stuff. And I’m not down. Anything breathing deeply.
In whatever four by four by four, three by five by seven, you know, whatever way you kind of want to come. Cause there are a lot of different meditative practices and breathing. Oh, strategies. I would bet there are. I think biologically really just breathing slowly and deeply. It’s powerful
Craig Graves: [00:26:15] through the nose.
Chris Gazdik: [00:26:17] Yeah. Yeah. Through the notes that I didn’t know, that’s actually. You’ve been talking about that.
Craig Graves: [00:26:21] One more thing I’ll throw in is this thing. This is new to me too, but email apnea. So when we’re sitting in front of a screen or a device, we tend to hold our breath, which puts us in a simple sympathetic state fight or flight state.
So if you’re, if you’re at a cube or at a desk, or, you know, on your phone quite a bit, chances are, you’re probably holding your breath too much. So be, be mindful of that. So check in with yourself, make sure you’re breathing. Or take, you know, work 15, 20 minutes, take a break, you know, five minutes and just make sure that you’re breathing correctly and then go back to work.
But holding that breath and breathing incorrectly for so long, it’s just a appetite, a recipe for disaster, I guess, is what I’m trying to say.
Chris Gazdik: [00:27:06] And, you know, I’ll throw it out here this way too, you know, if you’re not going to do and mr. Craig Graves’ breathing practice type thing, like you’re talking about every day or whatever.
I understand, you know what? Just start with this. Whenever you feel yourself worked up. Nervous anxious something simply just take one big, heavy as much air as you can get in your belly, you know, down expanding your old chest and just hold that for a couple seconds. And then maybe even imagine that, that, that feeling that you’re trying to get rid of is, is mixing with the air and blow it out just whenever, just one breath.
One deep that helps in that moment.
Craig Graves: [00:27:46] Yeah. Yeah, and I wouldn’t start with 20 minutes, Chris, if you haven’t done this start with five minutes. And if you have a questions about the process, then, go to the website and send me an email and I’ll respond and help you out.
Chris Gazdik: [00:27:58] Number three, journaling. It is a strategy and the way these things came to me, by the way is just as I was brainstorming and whatnot, these aren’t in any order, but these are the orders that kind of came to my mind.
Maybe something subconscious was talking to me about that. Cause exercise with number four, that probably should have been a little higher, but this isn’t in any order. lots of journaling methods, just like there are lots of breathing methods. Absolutely. There really are. but I wanted to kind of make some points about that in the way of, when, where I really started getting an understanding of this honestly, is a, is a bit of a personal experience.
Craig, listen to this. So everyone has sleepless nights and have things that, you know, get them worked up and upset and whatnot. What’s the one of these nights it’s been few, several years ago, really. And, I just, you know, had it on my mind and I got up and I don’t know. I was like, alright, let me practice what I preach.
Just got fired up, whatever. I got a piece of paper out. Alright, that’s stupid. I ain’t doing that. I said, I got my computer. Just start tapping down some stuff.
Craig Graves: [00:29:06] You gotta write it down, man.
Chris Gazdik: [00:29:08] Nah, you know, I know, but I’m usually, that’s what I started with, but I didn’t see anyway, make a long story short. I started just writing things out and writing things out.
And what I did is, was thoughts that I had feelings that I had. Got another paragraph wrote more on there, kind of kept going to the third paragraph. Then I read down through it. I kind of checked out what I said, and then I had a few more sentences and then a change the sentence and an edit it and then kind of, yeah, read through it again and realize wait a minute and I missed it.
I thought I went up to the second paragraph and indented and made it another paragraph kind of went down and read it through again, made a couple more edits, read it through, read it through. I read it through. Ironically about 35, 40 minutes of doing this. You know what I did next? When
Craig Graves: [00:29:50] to sleep? Yes, sir.
Chris Gazdik: [00:29:52] Yes, sir. And I woke up and I began thinking about that. What happened there? And I just started thinking. If I hadn’t gone down to do that, what would have happened? Well, I would’ve done the same thing. I’d have sat there, not a thought, a thought. And I thought the paragraph and thought another paragraph.
And then I was like, Oh wait, that wasn’t right. You got to change that in my head. And I went down there and thought that, change that up, that you’re going to review it, all answer. Say it again. And then I would. Add more things and you know, and then, then it go down and read it again and read it again and, and edit and change and edit.
And would you call this after you read it? Think about it. Think about it. Think about it, think about it. What do you, you call it your monkey brain, right? Journaling, writing things down, immediately arrests that process because when you read it three times through. There’s nothing to add it, nothing to move, nothing to reorder, nothing to change.
That’s what we’re doing in our head.
Craig Graves: [00:30:46] Yeah. Well, you, you press print on a, purchase those thoughts from your head and put some on the, that paper and they’re gone.
Chris Gazdik: [00:30:52] Even if they’re not gone, I’m suggesting press print and it’s there in the morning.
Craig Graves: [00:30:58] Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: [00:30:58] And you know that I want to remember the work that I just did.
I don’t want to forget the work that I just did if I don’t write it down. And so I’m going to think about it again and again and again. And when I wake up, I’m probably gonna think about it again, because I don’t want to miss that emotional work I did when you write it down.
Craig Graves: [00:31:14] Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: [00:31:15] Always there. I just wanted to kind of point that out in a real way, in the way that functionally journaling works.
And, and what, what occurred to me when, when I did that one particular night and how effective it was. Cause it was off my mind for the rest of the night. I slept like a charm.
Craig Graves: [00:31:33] Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. You know what I would add to that? Or I would say about that. I’m glad you did that. And I think that’s awesome.
If you’re going to do those kinds of things, you might have a journal by your bed and write it down that, that light coming off, the monitor can mess with your sleep. You know, that that can be a bad thing, but, but I like, I like where you’re going with it. No the way I use journaling as I, as I get up in the morning and after I do, or actually before I do this breathing practice we just talked about, then I do some journaling, man.
I write down some things I’m grateful for. You know, there’s some science behind, being grateful and how that changes your brain and your, and your attitudes. So I write down, I have kind of a gratitude practice I go through and I write down some things and I’m looking forward to doing that day to kind of prime myself to, Hey, I got some good stuff going on today, you know?
I kind of write down what my purpose is in there, so I can keep, keep that in the front of my mind. So I’m kind of writing down some stuff that preps me for, for that particular day. And then in the evening, I kind of do a little recap, you know, what are the three most positive things that happened to me today?
You know, even if I had a crappy day, then I can figure out three good things, right. And then maybe the day didn’t seem so bad. Right. It might be a good day after all. I just thought it was bad. Then also write down what I could have done differently. You know, I might’ve snapped at my kid, you know, I might write that down,
Chris Gazdik: [00:32:52] Right
Craig Graves: [00:32:52] whatever, whatever it is that you could do differently, you know, what do you like about yourself?
There’s one thing you like about yourself, right? Right. That was a couple. Yeah, maybe, maybe one or two. Maybe write that down, man. And then what are you looking forward to doing tomorrow? And that kind of starts getting your mind prepped about, you know, getting a good night’s rest and getting up tomorrow and getting after it.
So that’s kind of how I use my journal too, is kind of a, kind of a way to prep my day. And then it kind of a way to recapitulate. I
Chris Gazdik: [00:33:20] think that’s fantastic. I mean, Greg, do you actually practice what you coach.
Craig Graves: [00:33:28] Yeah, man.
Chris Gazdik: [00:33:31] Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, you saw me play it a little self care item before we even started today.
I’ve kind of had a hairy day, right? Yeah. You really do need to practice these things.
Craig Graves: [00:33:42] Yeah. The cool thing about the way I coach Chris is I’m telling people to do things that I’m doing right. Or that I have done that I know works. Yeah. That’s at least pretty cool. My experience. So yeah, I practice what I preach.
Chris Gazdik: [00:33:54] You want a weird journaling thing. I want to throw out there to people. So check this out. This is almost creepy. I’ll invite the audience. Just try this once. What does it, cause I got this in a conference and I, and I think that I’ve got it pretty close, if not exactly to what they approached, but it just by memory.
So somebody is out there and this is a documented approach or whatever that I screwed up. Please, please, please let me know. But I think I’m pretty close. If not exactly. you start out with this journaling activity. Where it almost kind of the goal is, is it’s actually going to let your, let your, almost your subconscious tell you what’s going on and what your, what your, what you’re working on and what, what the primary thing in a very concise way.
So you start out with free writing. You know what free writing is, right? Yeah. Yeah. You just write whatever that comes to your mind. I mean, you might sit there for 30 seconds, have nothing or two minutes and have nothing just what’s in your mind, you literally just start writing down what your thoughts are.
You can’t go that long without having a thought in your head. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right. So you just write down free thought, whatever the hecks, all in there, you know, it just comes out and you do that for about five minutes or so. And and, and then you stop it period of time. Maybe you go five minutes, 10 minutes, make sure that you have some stuff you write down.
10, we’ll call it 10, 15 minutes. And then after you’re done, you just read through and you circle 10 key words, right? And then when you’re done with that, you whittle that down and go to, to about four we’ll call it four or five key words from those 10, and then you write a sentence using all of those words.
It is really pretty neat. Like it tripped me out when I did it. I was like, okay. That’s exactly what I’m working
Craig Graves: [00:35:34] on. It’s kind of interesting. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: [00:35:36] And it’s creepy because your subconscious is really working on stuff.
Craig Graves: [00:35:40] I got to try that one
Chris Gazdik: [00:35:41] all the time and we don’t realize it, but our brains working for us, Dr Spickler taught us.
I loved it at the time. I think about that show.
Craig Graves: [00:35:51] We talk about it a lot, one of the, one of the questions, and if you do what I’m doing, you, you know, you ha you might have predefined questions that you answer every day and every evening. And so one of the questions in the evening is what’s an unresolved problem or challenge that I want my subconscious mind to work on while I’m sleeping.
Wow. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: [00:36:13] Yeah. That’s awesome. Listen, they’re really, as you can tell, and we can go on, I’m going to cut this because I want to get to some other things, but, You could tell, like, can we, we can, we can go on with that a little deeper, because there really are multiple methods and there are many ways to go about it.
I didn’t even say you might get into lists, you know, dream journals. And,
Craig Graves: [00:36:31] thing called morning pages. You can go it Amazon
Chris Gazdik: [00:36:35] Trauma lines, I’ll draw document people’s trauma lines in therapy, you know that through their ages or through their lives, you know, but the point that I want to make is is if you choose something and you begin to write it down, It makes it very crystallized and, and powerful in your life.
It is one of the most effective things that you can do to cope with emotions so much though. I think I said this on the show before I heard it said that NASA astronauts use journaling as the most effective tool to manage their self on long space flights and experiences.
Craig Graves: [00:37:10] I’ve never heard that before.
Chris Gazdik: [00:37:12] Right. That’s pretty cool. It’s fascinating.
Craig Graves: [00:37:14] Yeah, it is
Chris Gazdik: [00:37:14] because they’re just writing stuff down. It can be that effective and that, and, and apply to all sorts of areas of your life. So self care,
Craig Graves: [00:37:25] breathing, breathing, journaling.
Chris Gazdik: [00:37:27] Let’s next exercise should have been first. What you think about that, Mr. Graves?
Craig Graves: [00:37:32] Yeah, I think it’s great.
Chris Gazdik: [00:37:35] I’ll like it.
Craig Graves: [00:37:36] I think it’s awesome.
Chris Gazdik: [00:37:38] I just kidding. I do tell us why, why would I have that on our list?
Craig Graves: [00:37:43] Well, you know, because it does, it does help mental health. I mean, scientifically people who exercise yeah. Happier than people who do not, I mean, there’s some chemical release going on there and lots.
you know, I think there are some scientists, six studies that say 30 minutes of exercise can be just effective as a. Or more effective than some of these drugs that are on the market. Is that a true statement?
Chris Gazdik: [00:38:04] I don’t know if there’s, if I’m gonna, if I’m gonna agree with that or not. I’m gonna agree with the fact that when Dr. Danny Morrison was talking to this and I’ve quoted him many times over, actually since on episode 67, I didn’t do a good job with that, by the way, a far as past episodes, I really need it. Now that we have it categorized on the website, I probably could do that a lot easier anyway. Check out the website, everybody Mr. Neil has been working hard on really bumping it up and making it easy.
Craig Graves: [00:38:31] It’s cool. I’m excited
Chris Gazdik: [00:38:32] about it. We’re doing some really cool things on through a therapist’s eyes. Definitely want to check it out, everyone. so he talked about over the world all around the world that that’s the first line treatment choice.
Craig Graves: [00:38:44] Yeah. Right. First line, except here in
Chris Gazdik: [00:38:46] the U S in the United States, we go pills. Yeah. So, I don’t know, which is more effective, to be honest with you statistically or whatnot, but I’m going to say unequivocally, it is extremely effective if not equally as effective, if not better than psychotropics. Yeah.
And I know you love that last part.
Craig Graves: [00:39:04] I do. Absolutely. Do Dr. Morrison. I had a birthday or a work anniversary not long ago. I did. He really wished him well on LinkedIn. Yeah. If he’s listening.
Chris Gazdik: [00:39:13] Oh, Hey there, Mr. Morris. I didn’t know that. I did not know that. I’m a big one with number five. If we are on number five, friendship,
Craig Graves: [00:39:23] friendship,
Chris Gazdik: [00:39:24] why would that be on her list of mental health strategies
Craig Graves: [00:39:30] Just off the hip, I would say because we’re social creatures and we need social interaction, man. Absolutely. Where are you headed?
Chris Gazdik: [00:39:38] A lot of directions. We did a whole episode on friendship and we need to do another one in some way, because. I feel like it’s a crucial part of managing the way that we feel.
I don’t know where I’d be. And if I call you friend out there, it’s an important word to me. I want to know how much I want you to know how much I value that. And I don’t know where I’d be at this point without all you guys,
Craig Graves: [00:40:03] man. You’re a good friend, Chris. Well, I appreciate it, man.
Chris Gazdik: [00:40:06] And I mean that, and you are one of them, you know, I mean it, It adds so much to managing your emotions that I can’t, I don’t even know how to dumb that down.
Craig Graves: [00:40:17] Yeah, no. When we did that first show on friendship, you said we shouldn’t make a graphic out of this. You said friendship is the antidote to loneliness. Yup. Yup. Yeah. I thought it was pretty powerful. Thank you. Additionally, if I were still remember that, cause that was a long time ago
Chris Gazdik: [00:40:34] and I think that’s one of the, one of the quotes in my book to give you an idea what the book is about, because that, that, that is something that I have thought about a lot.
We
Craig Graves: [00:40:42] need to do a show in the book to tell everybody what it’s about.
Chris Gazdik: [00:40:44] Yeah. Yeah. Someday I think that. I like to say as well, you know, in quotes with friendship, you know, an enemy, number one, I’ve said this over and over again. I just said this two times, literally yesterday and today in my therapy sessions, I’m enemy number one to depression is isolation.
Right? Depression gets exacerbated terribly. So when you don’t have friendship, it devastating. Absolutely devastating. real quick sounding board or real quick list, the myriad of ways that friendship, you know, helps our mental health operate as a sounding board, the validation of what your feelings and thoughts and opinions are.
They give you objective feedback, you know, they can act as accountability partners, and probably so many more. I didn’t want to sit in there and stay stuck on that show prep part, but that was the list I came up with just thinking for literally like 30, 40 seconds. if you, if you think of life without friends, is that fine?
You get your family and you get your wife, but life really like without friends, what would that really be like?
Craig Graves: [00:41:55] That would kind of suck. You know,
Chris Gazdik: [00:41:56] it really
Craig Graves: [00:41:57] do need friends, man.
Chris Gazdik: [00:42:00] You wouldn’t, first of all, you just get tired of people. It provides some freshness, some difference, friends come and go in your life and that’s okay.
Everybody. You, you know, you change friendships, you grow together and you go further apart. I just think they’re so valuable. I feel like I’m rambling a little bit, because I want to go on, on, on this. But
Craig Graves: [00:42:20] it’s just, if you don’t have any friends, we’ll go back and listen to that episode where we talk about friendship and how Chris made some friends.
It was pretty interesting. I never thought about it before, and this is in his fashion, but basically long story short, Chris came out of that. 10 year span of having kids. What’d you call that the
Chris Gazdik: [00:42:38] last decade,
Craig Graves: [00:42:38] the last decade realized he was a loser. Didn’t have any, Whoa,
Chris Gazdik: [00:42:42] Whoa, Hey,
Craig Graves: [00:42:43] when I go find some friends and he intentionally, I’m just kidding.
You know, he intentionally went out to, to make friends. Now I’ve heard people intentionally go out to meet women or man, or find a mate, whatever, but I’d never heard anybody be intentional about making friendships. And I thought that was really a pretty, pretty unique and pretty cool thing. So. Be sure to check that one out.
If you haven’t
Chris Gazdik: [00:43:07] ready for the next one, nutrition,
Craig Graves: [00:43:08] nutrition,
Chris Gazdik: [00:43:09] right? Yes. I think that is a mental health strategy. I’m not going to spend much time there because Hey, I’m a little bit ignorant to it. This is one of my weakest areas. To be honest with you in, in working with people, might have a beat on dietary concerns in mental health too, by the way, my MPA student.
Mike, we might, we talk about that.
Craig Graves: [00:43:30] You know, we interviewed, Dana Fatic. Yeah. Who eliminated or not eliminated, but she started eating low carb, keto diets and realized her depression had gone on,
Chris Gazdik: [00:43:40] anxiety. But yeah, it, her mood. Chronic chronicity of her mood was gone.
Craig Graves: [00:43:47] Like gone.
Chris Gazdik: [00:43:48] Yeah, it was, yeah,
Craig Graves: [00:43:49] that was, it’s a hot topic, but I think you should do some more research on it.
Chris Gazdik: [00:43:52] It was stunning. I agree. Yeah, it’s a, I admit a weakness, but they did say on here, I’ve got a website helpguide.org. Good foods, fatty fish, Rich in omega3 such as salmon. Herring, mackerel anchovies, tuna anchovies. Oh my God. You can’t do it. Tuna sardines. Nuts, such as walnuts, almonds, cashews, peanuts cashews.
I did have, this does have peanuts on it. Y’all in our group told me to get rid of the peanuts and eat the almonds
Craig Graves: [00:44:19] almonds are better for you. I definitely, yeah, but if you’re trying to eat a Keto kind of diet, then peanuts are, I think peanuts are Keto,
Chris Gazdik: [00:44:27] avocados, flax seed and beans, bad foods, caffeine odor alcohol, trans fat, or anything with a hypo.
What is that? Her postulated
Craig Graves: [00:44:36] hydrogenated.
Chris Gazdik: [00:44:40] Hi, partiality. I don’t even know what that is. Or
Craig Graves: [00:44:42] maybe I’ve got a typo,
Partially hydrogenated. That’s the same thing as the trans fat too.
Chris Gazdik: [00:44:51] Yeah. That is foods with high levels of chemical preservatives or hormones, sugary snacks, refined carbs, such as white rice or white flour. Fried food is bad. He just, there are a lot of very overwhelming things about nutrition and I think that’s why I kind of steer away from it.
Cause it would get overwhelmed with it and seems to be a lot of conflict and information out there.
Craig Graves: [00:45:10] matter of fact to you,
Chris Gazdik: [00:45:14] you gave me that Ben Greenfield, show let’s do the other day started listening to it.
I don’t know half of his words man.
Craig Graves: [00:45:24] Yeah. He’s, he’s definitely an interesting character.
Chris Gazdik: [00:45:27] He felt stupid. I was like, you gotta be kidding me.
Craig Graves: [00:45:30] What does that mean? You know, I’m not a nutritionist, but I was watching, Joe Rogan the other day. And there were a couple of guys on there and one of them was arguing for vegetarian based diets and the other guy was telling him why it wasn’t good.
And it was like a three hour conversation at these times talking and I’m thinking. That’s ridiculous. You know, just find what works for you and go with that. As long as you’re eating fruits, vegetables, and healthy meats, you’re probably going to be fine
Chris Gazdik: [00:45:58] and listen to your body. I think, I think mindfulness has a part to play here.
I agree with you, you know, being aware of how you feel when you eat said
Craig Graves: [00:46:06] thing. Yeah. Can
Chris Gazdik: [00:46:08] catch him, probably catch allergies by the way to food. When you do that.
Craig Graves: [00:46:11] Yeah. I think if people, if people looked at, well, I guess people can’t see these show notes, but what you just said, the good foods and the bad foods you just read apart from the caffeine.
If you, I put those good foods and avoid those bad things, be fine, you know?
Chris Gazdik: [00:46:27] Yeah. I think so it really and do well. We can go on, I don’t, I don’t really consider myself a super expert on that anyway. So anything else on that? Because I know you think about that stuff more than I do,
Craig Graves: [00:46:40] but I’m not sure how to tie it to mental health.
Chris Gazdik: [00:46:42] Well, the way you feel and the
Craig Graves: [00:46:44] physiological last feel. Yeah. scientifically I can’t say, but you know, if you’re eating those good foods, you’re probably going to be slimmer and tremor more active, which is going to lead you to be more likely to do exercise or some form of physical activity, which is also going to help your mental health.
So I’d say it’s kind of a domino effect.
Chris Gazdik: [00:47:03] So what we got so far is self care, breathing, journaling, friendship. Exercise and nutrition, and I’m just going to list the rest of them. And I want to see Craig, which one you want to talk about? Cause this is a pretty good list. I think, of, of self, of managing strategies of your mental health.
Okay. So let’s look and see what we want to do with the rest of our time here. That’s that? All right.
Craig Graves: [00:47:26] Next one for a minute. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: [00:47:28] Okay. One, five and 10 year plan. Okay. That’s a, that’s a life planning strategy. Let’s just, let’s go through and we will camp out for sure. having a pet seriously man’s best friend.
Right. And I think that’s on a list. Visualization and visualization techniques thought we might demonstrate one, actually tension release techniques. Okay. Sensory answered to panic feelings. That is actually the strategy that I’ve talked to that I totally talked about with a panic attack, Greg avoiding using permanency words forever.
Always, never everyone. No one is a really, really bad. I would love if we just actually banished them because 95% of the time, if not more, they are inaccurate. And we feel those feelings it’s really, really bad introspectively challenge. Our assumptions. You know, from time to time revisit stressful life events in memory courageously, be brave.
Like, do that attack any fear that you identify or noticing yourself? do have some thoughts in a word on vacations. but Craig, I mean, in, in so far as just quickly and simply and sheer lists, do you have unbeatable mind things that you can add five more?
Craig Graves: [00:48:38] I think you’ve covered a lot of the big ones right here.
I kind of wanted to go back to. Talk to us about having a purpose, Chris, how does that help our mental health?
Chris Gazdik: [00:48:48] You know, I think I’m actually going to talk about that a little bit more on the next show, because it came up in my thinking when we, we did, I did some, some thinking about, burnout, this we’re going to talk about next.
You didn’t even have to wait till the end to find out where we’re going next. Because purpose and having a purpose and a vision. I mean, any of the business planning, they always talk about having a vision, right? They talk about where are we going? And let’s, let’s see it together. And that’s getting statement, mission statements are important.
You know, that’s just basic mental health strategies. Cause I didn’t even think about that when I was doing this, but a very powerful thing that I was thinking about as a one, five and 10 year plan, because it touches on those directional. Processes that we’re trying to do as a group in a corporation.
Right. But I have, I have a, I’m stuck on this and I’m curious what you think right here, Craig, because I have a difference with I’m sorry. Yeah, him himself. I remember Dan Miller was on our show. I have a, I have a bone with that. If you remember, he’s like, you know what he said about all that having to plan.
And he does a, I said one, five and 10 year plan when we were talking. You remember how he thought about that? I
Craig Graves: [00:49:55] don’t, I don’t,
Chris Gazdik: [00:49:56] yeah, he cut it down. People don’t do that. No more fast paced society. You know, we do a one, three and five year plans. All people can handle, right? Yeah. I agree. Okay. I really do. And I’d be curious what you think about that because I’m developing, this is kind of real time in my therapy practice.
The last year I’ve been thinking about. What is the value of a longterm perspective? First of all, if there is a value in that take, it’s pretty well lost. And that sucks. What is the value in having a long term perspective on fill in the blank? And I think there’s a lot there. I’m kind of working on it in my head.
So I don’t want to cut a one. Five and 10 year plan in looking at that. And by the way, my activity is pretty simple. I do it in therapy offices, take a sheet of paper out. I go pen and paper. I go to school, take the front sheet, whole sheet, and you go one year plan everything between now. And one year you want to accomplish, take the back sheet, two thirds of the page or three quarters of the page, everything you want accomplish between now and five years from now.
And then the last third and last quarter of the page is everything you want accomplish between now and 10 years from now, it clarifies a lot. What says you one, three and five or one, five and 10.
Craig Graves: [00:51:18] That’s a good, that’s a good question. I probably would go with the one, three and five just because the world changes so quickly now just because the pace of change is so fast, you know, that it’s really hard to plan 10 years out.
And if you’re doing this planning session yearly, then you’re probably gonna start adjusting that three and five as you go. So if you sit down today, what’s today today’s August 27, 2020. If you sit down today and you, and you do a plan for the next one, five and 10 years, it’s not going to be in stone.
You’re going to have to review that plan absolutely. On a six month or a yearly basis. So I think if you’re, if you’re continually looking at it and refining it. Maybe five years is as far as you want to go, because there’s gonna be so much change. I mean, what’s therapy going to look like 10 years.
Chris Gazdik: [00:52:08] I’m prepared for this argument, man.
Craig Graves: [00:52:10] You know,
Chris Gazdik: [00:52:11] I’m prepared for this. Well, let’s hear it. So, so what has changed since society is fast paced now? About our human emotions. What has changed about the way we actually think in so far as processing data in our brains that may have changed a little bit. I’m sure it has, but what really has changed about the way human beings operate in vision and planning?
I submit to you not as much as we would think, just because society moves faster.
Craig Graves: [00:52:39] Yeah. So, so what is your ten year? What is your 10 year plan?
Chris Gazdik: [00:52:42] Oh, let me a spot. I
Craig Graves: [00:52:45] don’t have a 10 year plan.
Chris Gazdik: [00:52:48] Well, Hey, I’m like no one to share that too. I don’t know. I didn’t really think about that, but I don’t think you don’t usually give you that
Craig Graves: [00:52:53] way, man changes with the human emotions or behaviors.
I mean, they hadn’t changed in thousands of years, but just the way the world operates. And when I think about purpose and, you know, I think my purpose is to help people get to the next level and prove themselves, you know, how am I going to be doing that? Is it through podcasting? Is it through writing, speaking coaching in 10 years?
I don’t know. The landscape may change in, such that the things I’m doing today are completely different in 10 years. I mean, you just look what Cobra did to your perception of the way therapy works. So you’re like, yeah. I like to be face to face with the person COVID has forced you into a situation where you’re seeing at least some clients remotely, right?
Oh yeah. And you liked that. Usually you just pleasantly surprised that that might be an option for you. So down the road, who knows what’s going to happen to. So if your, if your plan is to have an office in Mount Holly, North Carolina, and have five therapists working with you and have DWS receptionist, You may not be able to have that reality in 10 years because the landscape in the therapy world may have changed so much between now and then.
That it’s completely a completely different model
Chris Gazdik: [00:54:02] I understand what you’re saying I’d submit to you and I’ll answer the question actually in that same way. Cause that’s what I was thinking professionally. What do I want in 10 years from now? The 10 year part is what people get stuck on. And I don’t think that there’s a lot that you want to do in specifics.
It’s why it’s only a quarter of one page. Or, or, or a third, I mean, at most they’re really broad strokes because it gives you a direction on what you’re going to do. I’m not sure if it’s in my five or 10 year plan, but I definitely want to be doing less clinical hours. I want to be doing more professional speaking.
I want to be doing more probable writing at that point and engaging in those types and these types of platforms. So that’s definitely within 10 years, I do not want to be doing as much therapy as I’m doing. And I know that, and I don’t think that’s going to change. Right. So it’s those types of things that
Craig Graves: [00:54:50] really won’t change
Chris Gazdik: [00:54:52] that I’m talking about.
Like what area of the country are you moving towards? you know, when you’re 20 years old, your 10 year plan, does that involve kids or does that not? Yeah. We want to do that. I think it’s, I think it’s important to not lose that broad stroke yeah. On what you’re doing in
Craig Graves: [00:55:09] your life. I don’t think so either.
I think it’s good to have to think about those things. But my point with the planning cycles was, you know, if I have a one, three and five, now the next time cheer, my one, three and foster have a one, three and five, but it’s going to be, yeah, definitely. It’s gonna be 26 instead of 25 at the end of the five years.
So it’s going to be different. And the landscape may change. I mean, you become, you may become a New York times best seller and your book, they take off such that man, it changes your whole perception on, on how many hours you’re gonna spend in therapy and what you’re going to be doing. So. You know, trying to project 10 years out
Chris Gazdik: [00:55:44] might be, and you definitely have flexibility to adjust and revisit it, but yeah, it’s, it’s, I’m lying.
What did you tell me one day when we were talking Craig, or maybe you, you, you told it in our, in our mastermind group, Did you write down a goal? It becomes what?
Craig Graves: [00:55:59] Yeah. It becomes a plan.
Chris Gazdik: [00:56:00] Well, how much more likely to happen?
Craig Graves: [00:56:03] Oh yeah. I like 97%. More likely to happen. I think. Yeah. 97. I think it’s 97.
Chris Gazdik: [00:56:09] I thought it was like 70.
Craig Graves: [00:56:10] I can’t remember. I’d have to look it up.
Chris Gazdik: [00:56:12] Yeah. A heck of a lot more likely than if you just spit it around in your brain.
Craig Graves: [00:56:16] Yeah. So let me, let me see if I can remember this study without looking it up. So I think it was in 1979, Harvard did a S they interviewed the graduating class. let me, let me think about this for a second 3% had goals and they had them written down, I think it was 13% had goals in their head, but no, no plan that didn’t have written down or have a plan to get there.
And then the rest of them didn’t know what they were going to be doing. Right. So the 13% that at least had a plan in their minds, they made double the amount of money that the other percent that didn’t have anything, any plan they had doubled, doubled, doubled the money, doubled the income. Right.
Chris Gazdik: [00:56:58] Interesting.
Craig Graves: [00:56:59] The 3% was making like 10 times more than the other two cases.
Chris Gazdik: [00:57:03] Wow.
Craig Graves: [00:57:04] So, yeah. Yeah. Study 10, 10 years later they went back and re-interviewed that graduating class. Yes. And the 3% that actually had a plan. We’re making 10 times more than the other two groups combined.
Chris Gazdik: [00:57:15] Yeah. And I believe it, I believe it, there’s a lot of power again, in putting paper to pencil or typing.
You want to have this out just like we were talking about with journaling. I mean, these, these types of things are really powerful. They work,
Craig Graves: [00:57:28] but how do you think having that purpose impacts somebody’s mindset or their mental?
Chris Gazdik: [00:57:33] I’m going to push that to next show. Okay. Okay.
Craig Graves: [00:57:36] Fair enough. Let’s talk about visualization next spend to spend a minute on that.
What’d you what’d you got there. How does that help us?
Chris Gazdik: [00:57:44] You tell me, cause I know you knew a lot about that.
Craig Graves: [00:57:48] Flipping it back on me. Right. You know what I would say there is, it’s it, you know, seeing yourself, like, for example, one of the, the next thing that I do. So I, first of all, I read some, I read some scripture when I get up.
then I write in my journal and I do this box braiding and then I do visualization. And like, you’re talking about this plan. I visualize myself achieving this purpose that I have for myself. You know, I see myself down the road in that longer, in that longer timeframe, Craig. And then I see myself either focused on what I’m going to be doing next year or a specific, a specific thing that I’m working on.
You know, I might see myself as being very successful as a, as a coach or a completing a hard. Physical challenge that I’ve got lined up in that prepares my mind, for those events to happen in reality. And I’ll tell you a story about another study that was done. So
Chris Gazdik: [00:58:45] if you see it, it will likely be,
Craig Graves: [00:58:48] it will likely happen.
It sounds like law of attraction and wacky doodle stuff, but, but that, but there’s, but there’s science behind this. So this study was done. They had three, they had three groups. And they were, they basically, they, did a baseline of these three groups taking free-throws. Okay. So
the first group, like in basketball
and basketball shooting, free throws.
Yeah, the first group, they got the baseline. They didn’t do any shooting for three, for three, for six weeks. The second group actually shot baskets a certain amount of time per day,
Chris Gazdik: [00:59:21] practice, practice, practice,
Craig Graves: [00:59:22] physically. The third group just thought about it. They just visualize themselves taking these shots.
Chris Gazdik: [00:59:28] This is fascinating.
Craig Graves: [00:59:29] So at the end of the day, six weeks, they did another study or they did another baseline, right. And the guys who didn’t practice, they either stayed the same or they lost the group that actually took the shots. They got 24% better.
Chris Gazdik: [00:59:45] That’s pretty good.
Craig Graves: [00:59:46] And the group that just visualized themselves, Chris, they were 23% better without ever touching a basketball after six weeks of just visualizing.
Chris Gazdik: [00:59:55] Okay. Well, I feel good about that because practice, practice practice is something that we really believe in and I taught my kids. And so you’re saying that equally as effective as simply visualizing yeah. Yeah. Still surprising. I thought you were actually going to go higher than that. So that, that seems very, very bad.
Craig Graves: [01:00:11] Yeah. But they didn’t even, they didn’t touch the ball 23% better.
Chris Gazdik: [01:00:14] That’s amazing. Do when you practice and visualize, right.
Craig Graves: [01:00:17] Absolutely.
Chris Gazdik: [01:00:18] Absolutely. Yeah. Which is what they do. Yeah. In many NBA players, minds and golfers and people that have skilled positions. You know, throwing quarterback balls pitching, they all do that.
Craig Graves: [01:00:29] You know, we watched that free solo. The Alex Honnold show when he climbed El cap. I think we talked about that on one of our, one of our shows and he climbed well, if you don’t know, El Capitan in Yosemite national forest is your national park is 3000 feet of just straight up cliff face,
Chris Gazdik: [01:00:47] basically sheer
Craig Graves: [01:00:48] rock.
This kid climbed it with no ropes. Okay. So to prep is the prep for this thing. He climbed that thing for like two years using a rope, but he said he visualized himself on that rock face as he was climbing with the rope with no rope.
Chris Gazdik: [01:01:04] Yeah, you’re going to think I’m stupid Craig, when you watch free solo and I did too, that, that movie did not show him climbing without a rope.
Did it? Yeah,
Craig Graves: [01:01:15] freelance free solo did. Yeah, it did.
Chris Gazdik: [01:01:17] I do not remember him calling me.
Craig Graves: [01:01:18] And that was nothing. That was the big thing is that the guys who filmed it were friends of his, and they’re like, if we’re filming and he falls, what are we going to do?
Chris Gazdik: [01:01:27] That was hit him with a rope. And his buddy there
Craig Graves: [01:01:30] was with the rope and it was a story leading up to the actual climb.
So yeah. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: [01:01:34] And at the end, it shows him climbing without that. Yeah, that actually, he, that, that clip was cause I watched that movie. It was crazy.
Craig Graves: [01:01:42] It was a late night TV show, Chris. And he said visualization was his biggest tool kiddingly. Nope. I’ll be tired of all the food and stuff we’ve talked about.
Visualization is his, and he’s the most successful free climber or solo free solo or in the history of the world.
Chris Gazdik: [01:01:57] And I’ll make an argument fresh out of my, my brain, honestly, in this moment. Can we say, it’s a question, Craig, can we say that if you really needle in to any one of these things on this list, pretty much, if you really get into it, even the one I said, having a pet, right?
If you really need Linda, like how do I get a pet therapy? Dogs are a big deal. Just saw John’s therapy dog. His wife’s therapy dog today. Yeah. Bob, the dog was in our office today. He was awesome. And seeing him in awhile. You get really good and really focused in, on any one of these. Can we say that that might be the most effective one on this list?
Craig Graves: [01:02:34] Yeah. Yeah. It could be. I’ll choose some things that worked, you know, and get one thing down before you move on or add another thing. Right? These are skills that we’re running out of time, but let me tell you how I tie some of these together. So just to kind of reiterate my morning routine or ritual or whatever you want to call it, you know, so I get up.
I spend a few minutes reading some scriptures, you know, just in silence. And then I do my, my journaling where I’m doing my gratitude practice and writing down these things, you know, kind of, kind of prepping myself for the day. Then I go through the 20 minutes of box breathing that we talked about, Chris.
And then I go through a future, me visualization, where I’m, where I am visualizing myself, you know, at a certain timeframe down the road. And I’m visualizing myself achieving my goals. Then I’m visualizing myself just going through the day and completing all the tasks that I want to do that particular day.
Okay. And then I do some kind of movement, some kind of light yoga. Maybe, maybe some burpees or just something to kind of get my blood flowing.
Chris Gazdik: [01:03:37] Gwen Wild talked about neurologically the benefits of body positions and moving, right?
Craig Graves: [01:03:41] Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And dude, I have a, I have a, a noticeably better day when I get up and go through that routine.
My day is much better. I can tell a difference mentally if I just roll out of bed and start and start getting after it. If I, if I get up late and don’t do this practice. There’s a notable, noticeable difference in my mindset and how my day goes. If I don’t do that practice,
Chris Gazdik: [01:04:08] absolutely. Craig get ready to take us out of here, but I want to really help everyone understand, like there’s so much going on in the world today and we want to be helpful.
We really care about your a mental health and, and, and the way that you’re operating, we, we want to blow up stereotypes and myths, get good information out of there. I haven’t talked about it probably enough, but we also really want to be helpful. I know there’s a lot of people that are afraid out there.
I know there’s a lot of people that are struggling out there. I know there’s a lot of people that are really struggling with hard times. There’s a lot of reasons for hard times right now, financially, racially, medically, familially, internally. There’s a lot of ways that people really are having a hard time. And that’s part of the reason why we designed this idea of the show today because I had the news blues.
It worked out well. So there’s to go look, you can be empowered to do things for yourself. You can feel well, feel empowered using self care, using breathing, using journaling, getting some exercise, getting friendships, having some nutrition, getting a one five 10 year plan. Have a pet, visualization skills, tension release techniques, sensory answer to panic feelings and.
Avoid using permanency words, introspectively challenge your assumptions from time to time revisit stressful events in life attack. Any fear that we didn’t talk about vacations, but take short periods of time off was the main point there how’s that for a list. Craig, take us out of here and we’ll see you
Craig Graves: [01:05:44] guys
Chris Gazdik: [01:05:45] next week with burnout.
Craig Graves: [01:05:48] Throughatherapistseyes.com folks. You can find entries for each one of our episodes. Chris and I referenced a lot of those today on today’s show, you can also get a copy of Chris is a first chapter of his book. If you sign up for our email list. And we usually just use that list to let you know when new shows are published.
So we don’t send a lot of spam or anything like that. Chris, what’s that first chapter about man?
Chris Gazdik: [01:06:12] I don’t know if he really, I don’t know on the brawl twice. I don’t know you
Craig Graves: [01:06:18] wrote the book. I figured you’d know about it. Fears Neil said it was fear. Anyway, you get the first chapter of Chris’s book. If you sign up for our email list, we’d love for you to have that.
You can also find links to our social media on the site. And, I think that covers it
Chris Gazdik: [01:06:32] now. I feel like I got to qualify. The reason why I don’t know is cause it’s, it’s really a short they’re short chapters and, and, and I wasn’t sure what quote we used or I used it was, it’s not in any particular order.
Craig Graves: [01:06:41] How many chapters is it?
Chris Gazdik: [01:06:42] So at 30 something really? Yeah. Yeah. 32
March is the main release date, but people will be able to preorder and it’s
Craig Graves: [01:06:51] all goodreads right now, right?
Chris Gazdik: [01:06:52] It is. You can look it up. I’m actually going to challenge the audience and see if we can coordinate a little trick to get everyone to, to do on the same timeframe or the same day.
So we’ll be talking about it. It’s still cool.
Craig Graves: [01:07:04] I think I covered it. And Chris, you said we were going to talk about burnout on episode 97. So anything else, man?
Chris Gazdik: [01:07:10] That’s it. Have a good week.
Craig Graves: [01:07:11] See you soon.