After going over the Golden Circle of Marriage last week, the guys look at bad behaviors of marriage by talking about Gottman’s Four Horsemen of Marriage. This episode introduces criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. They then go deeper into criticism by talking about what it is, why someone would become critical, and the effect it has on the other partner.
Tune in to see Criticism Through a Therapist’s Eyes.
Listen for the following takeaways from the Show:
- Review of EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) – Abandonment and Engulfment
- These horsemen are in any type of relationship, not just marriage.
- The four horsemen of relationships are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt.
- Criticism is attacking your partner and tearing them down.
- Effects of criticism leads to submission from the other.
- Devalues their views / Opposite of Acceptance.
- Criticizing can put your partner in a stuck spot where they do not move or improve.
- What is the trigger that causes you or your partner to criticize?
- Critical people are trying to fix the situation but not doing it the right way.
Part 2: Defensiveness and Stonewalling, Bad Marriage Behaviors: Gottman’s Four Horsemen
Part 3: Contempt, a Bad Marriage Behavior: Gottman’s Four Horsemen
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