Would you call yourself an Open Book or a Private person? In this episode Chris looks at those two personality types to discuss what that means for you and how these ties to boundaries. He discusses why boundaries are there for you and your relationships. He looks at what healthy boundaries look like and then he gives you some ideas that will help you set them.
Tune in to see Boundaries Through a Therapist’s Eyes.
Previouse Episode:
Episode #27 – Decision Making: Trust your gut or use your head?
Listen for the following takeaways:
- Show update: The video for Episode 145 is now on Youtube.
- Sometimes boundaries are only noticed by someone when they go against their personality.
- Be mindful, purposeful, and thoughtful when setting boundaries.
- Boundary are the limits we set for ourselves within our relationships.
- It is important to set expectations on both sides to minimize problems.
- Is being an “Open Book” or a “Private Person” good or bad?
- In reality you can’t be on or the other all the time. A private person can become an open book when they have the right boundaries set within a relationship.
- Personality inventories that are used might not be as helpful or as effective as they are promoted to be.
- There are many things that affect where you set your boundaries, not just your personality.
- Review of the drawbacks of both being an Open Book and a Private Person.
- You need to be mindful where your boundaries are coming from.
- You need to be flexible when looking at dealing with and adjusting your boundaries.
- Sometimes you have to initiate the boundaries that you want with your relationship.
- You have to stick with those boundaries you create, even though it is harder then you think.
- Define…Communicate…Stay Simple…Set Consequences.
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I think Adam had a good point about boundaries for different locations, especially the workplace. Those boundaries you set there help you keep your job first, and because it is a common location for your fellow co-workers, you might play the private person side more than the open book person. It also follows through with religion and politics. You can be in a world of trouble discussing either in the modern workplace. Chris, you made an excellent point of defining yes and no. You have to mean what you say, even if you irritate, disappoint, surprise someone with a simple yes or no. The boundary there is that when you say either of those two words, you mean it. People will know you in that what you say is what you mean. Sugar coating is not helpful. Vasillating with a decision or answer is not helpful. Boundaries are your foundational blocks of respect and protection for yourself. You pick and choose who should be in your life. Not always full proof but for the most part, they allow for a quality life you share with select people. Good show!
The only reason I can relate to boundaries and open book/private person is because I am older and I view my life as a series of mostly good. The other things, well, just a human condition/s that I remember and avoid but learned a great deal from. I still learn so much today, even at my age. Letting down barriers has been good, excellent really.
Saying a yes or no is still hard but once again, I am learning and doing it with more skill. I wonder who has helped me??!