In this episode Chris talks to fellow entrepreneur Matthew Hanks to discuss the process that a person can go through when they make that leap to start their own business. They talk about the importance of the mindset when starting, and what it means to be an entrepreneur. They discuss that it can be lonely going this path but go over some things you can do to combat loneliness.
Tune in to see Your Vision Entrepreneurship Through a Therapist’s Eyes.
Listen for the following takeaways from the show:
- This show is about your vision utilizing the process of entrepreneurship to guide you.
- Craig would lead you to your vision by asking a few questions.
- Without a vision people will perish.
- What would you attempt if you could not fail.
- Keeping your vision in front of you, helps you stay focused.
- You need to identify your Why…Check out episode 173 and episode 174 on Implicit Bias for motives behind your why.
- One exercise you can go through is have someone ask you Why 7 times to get to root of your motivation.
- “People envision loudly what they fear.” You have to speak the goal/vision louder than the fear.
- Chris goes over a few Focus Points from his book.
- What is entrepreneurship and why, even as an employee, that mentality helps push you towards excellence.
- The book 12 Week Year talks about the cycles an entrepreneur goes through.
- There will be a valley of despair phase that you will experience during a major life change that you need to make it through.
- Matt thinks not everyone can become an entrepreneur and Chris pushes back that the mindset is what people should strive for.
- Being an Entrepreneur is lonely because there are a lot fewer owners then employees.
- They wrap up by helping you know how to push through loneliness and the valley of despair.
- As an overview here is what investopedia says about entrepreneurship.
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Episode #177 Transcription
Chris Gazdik: [00:00:00] Hello, welcome to another edition on mother edition. I said another edition of Through a Therapist’s Eyes where you get personal insights directly from a therapist doing this since 1995 in your car or in your home. We love doing the show. So join with us. Today, we’re going to be talking about vision and entrepreneurship.
So I am Chris Gazdik. You are Matthew Hanks still banks. Yes. Not Matt. Matthew. Yeah. Thank you. I’m getting better at that, man. See the world through the lens of a therapist, but realize not to delivery therapy services in any way, apple, iTunes, Spotify, subscribe, give us those five star reviews. They help out a lot, contact@throughatherapistseyes.com.
We get good interaction. Sometimes we bring it on the show with thoughts that you have. So contact it through a therapist, [00:01:00] eyes.com is a great way to do that. And also the website. We’ve got some cool new things out there. We’re getting close to making an announcement about what I’ve been really excited about.
I gave the hint last week. I think you weren’t with us, has to do with quotes and phrases, quotes and phrases from the show. Pretty excited about it. I think it’s going to be a neat thing that we’re going to wheel of fortune, like wheel of fortune. Hey, Neil, put that into thought bank that all right.
There could be a fun game show that we build up with thoughts and phrases for mental health. I think big man, a great game show. It really would. That’d be fun. How did they contact you, man? You came back to fill us in. I appreciate you rolling in you know, you’re, you’re, you’re moved into Courtney’s months.
She had something going on, so we filled you in for another week, but how did they find you? How do they contact you? What do you do?
Matthew Hanks: Well, professionally, I have a real estate firm here in the Gaston area, just outside Charlotte. And we have a team of [00:02:00] agents that we serve homeowners in the Gaston area.
Probably easiest way to find us is HanksRealtygroup.com. That’s our website me personally, Matthew hanks.com. That’s all my social media links there. We can connect
Chris Gazdik: in that way. I was really like to say, he really cares about what he does with real estate. Like you, you really are a passionate real estate person and it’s a hot market right now.
I’m sure a lot of people need you and you really are a good one to turn to that’s that’s a plug because I know the guy, you know, look at him and you see on Facebook live in the YouTube it’s Sunday. I mean, look at how he’s dressed. Look at how he’s geared. He’s always working this. Guy’s always working for
Matthew Hanks: you actually.
Sundays. I don’t work. So don’t lead them astray there, Chris.
Chris Gazdik: All right. All right. So let me get our brains geared here. Okay. The pandemic has. Created all, a lot of people re-evaluating their life. And this [00:03:00] was actually Courtney Donaldson’s month. And this was her idea for the show. We just got screwed up Thursday and, and she couldn’t make it today.
So this is the Genesis of her, her thoughts. The pandemic has really made people reevaluate, working from home businesses that they might like to do entrepreneurial mind. And I blended this together with people’s vision about their life, which applies to all of us. So we’re going to kind of combine both components and I thought a good way to get us back into a mindset that Craig Craig graves talked about with us, from his unbeatable mind, coaching material purpose, passion, and principles, and part of that, you know, in, in, in developing a business or.
Processing your life making life process decisions, which I talk about in therapy all the time. He gave his questions to ponder and think about. So we’re going to do a little [00:04:00] segment here on developing your vision. These are the questions that he went on to get us thinking about it. And I’m just gonna sort of re do that whatever episode that was on.
He was on it. Wasn’t too long ago. Purpose principles and passion. So think about this as a targeted focus points to to really get into what you know, what do you think about when you’re trying to do your vision? I know you Matthew think of these things all the time, but what are you in a passionate way that defines who you are, right?
What makes you feel as if your hair is on fire? Not like your comment, not too long ago. You’re like, I feel like I’m running around with my hair on fire forever. You said that. Yeah, because you’re moving and you got all that kind of stuff. This is more like what really drives you? What really has a burn on you that you, that, that, that course is a direction for you.
What unique skills or talents do you have that you love to use and make you feel different? [00:05:00] And then the old, my favorite, if you won the lottery today, what would you do differently? What would you really do if you won the lottery, these things, you know, get you to think about vision life. I like a 1 5, 10 year plan.
People like a one, you know, three and five year plan. I still go with one, five and 10, but tell me what you see with these questions, what that brings up for you as it relates to people and their life vision.
Matthew Hanks: I think about that without a vision, the people perish is what the word says. So if you don’t have a vision of where you’re going, you’re just, you’re you’re you got a very small chance of getting there.
You know, you’re gonna wind up somewhere and it’s probably not what you would have hoped for, with your vision. So the other question I think is very thought provoking is what would you attempt? If you could not fail, if you knew you could not fail, that’s a good one. What would you [00:06:00] attempt? Yeah. Now that that’s the type of thing.
That’s not your everyday thought process. That’s going to get you out of that day to day and think about big picture stuff. Yeah. Stuff. It really sets your soul on fire. Go ahead. Let’s say your hair on fire, set your soul on fire, and now what you want, that’s going to drive you. And
Chris Gazdik: I think people feel that sometimes life pops us in a, in a certain way.
Let’s put COVID
Matthew Hanks: did. And a lot of
Chris Gazdik: folks that’s what COVID did. And honestly, Ukraine’s doing that. For a lot of people, maybe in a smaller way in the states, but I would venture around the world. You know, it, life events that are really, really big and dramatic might be a divorce. It might be a death. You know, these things really reframe and crystallize a picture that otherwise you’ve just been putting on the back burner, pondering a little bit here and there with a scotch or a, you know, a birdwatching event.
Yeah. But just brings it into focus. Like, no, I must do this. Yeah.
Matthew Hanks: And some of it may be preparing ourselves for [00:07:00] the unexpected too, because COVID with no one, you know, no one saw that coming. You couldn’t have been prepared for it. It wasn’t something that you made a bad decision. And so COVID happened to you, you know, COVID just happened to all of us without any expectation or.
Any notice, just kind of happened to us and Ukraine the same way. So probably what I’ve seen with COVID is her during COVID. And when it comes to entrepreneurship is people want to control their own destiny and less of the things that happen to them. And they’re, they’re the ones that are causing change in their lives instead of change affecting them.
Chris Gazdik: We’re a part of a mastermind group. And I really keyed into this activity. I don’t know. Cause I think it was just a cool thing that they did, but you know, these guys, Dave Ramsey and, and Dan Miller they’re, they’re, they’re really progressed people. They’ve, they’ve launched into something very different between the two, but they were a part of the same mastermind group, Matt, you know what they did, dude, they, and we [00:08:00] should do this.
Maybe it’s it’s something I thought about it in our, in our group, they, they just had a gathering of social to get together and they, they were getting the group together. There wives, and they just had a party. But they said, come, not as you are, but come as you will be. Right. And people really got into it. I mean, they they’ve rented cars, they dressed up, they, you know, had their, I don’t know, I’m so not a creative person in that way.
Like I sucked at Halloween. It was terrible with a kid. I have no creativity, but they really got into it. And they showed up at this party as they wanted to be. And I’ll tell you cases, those two guys will be curious about the other people it’s happened. You know, you vision it, you envision, you look and you see.
And I just thought that was a really cool activity that, that made it sort of real, you know, I got show up with five books in my arm and yeah. You know, whatever
Matthew Hanks: kind of cool. That’s somewhat related. I feel like that one of the things we did was we’re [00:09:00] trying to write down our goals for the year and yeah, I’m in the middle of the move.
Like you had just mentioned Chris and I had my vision board, my piece of paper that had all these different categories. I was impressed with you. Okay. Well, I had that actually in a box and a moving box and I just brought in the new house and it was just a nice thing to be able to put it right up on the bathroom mirror and the new house and say, cause I’ve missed that.
I didn’t have it in the temporary housing, but I just looked at him like, oh yeah, I’ve got to get back on track. Oh yeah. I got to get back on track there. And it was everything from nutrition to, you know, daily things I was doing for my spiritual walk to fitness, all this stuff. And it’s amazing getting it visual and getting it back up in front of me.
It’s like, oh yeah, gosh, I’ve kind of fallen off on
Chris Gazdik: that. So you noticed a difference in just Yes. Just like that in just the what two months or so that you’ve been in transition and that just went back. Just
Matthew Hanks: because now it’s back visual. Cause I, cause you know, being part of the mastermind going through that program it was an exercise that we all did, but I got [00:10:00] away from it because of the temporary housing.
But think about the things we’ve know, talking about business, talking about where, the direction of the office and where we’re going with this with overall with work, our professions public speaking was on there. Chris and we’ve talked a lot about that. Aviation. We’ve talked a lot about that. So all these things, it’s just small incremental movements towards those goals in each of those areas.
And it’s just keeping it visual and I think. Making it getting it in your mind. It’s got to be in your mind first, before you can outwardly manifest it. I think that party that you’re talking about where you dress up as what you want to be, or whoever is probably part of that. I don’t even know what I would dress up as right now.
I know. Right. You know, that I might have to think. Well, I mean, I’m kind of like, you look at the progress we’ve made and a lot of people in the group have at our mastermind over the past couple of years and all the stuff that we’re trying to do, you know, Craig with his coaching and masterminds, all these different things, it’s all it’s called coming about.
It really
Chris Gazdik: is. Yeah. And I, and I’ll tell you you know, I thought that I would share today the vision that I [00:11:00] have really about through a therapist’s eyes. I see things. And I’m really excited about it. It’s why we’ve shown up to do this show. And I, I, I implore you to stick with us because you know, a lot of what I envision has a lot to do with what is happening, right.
I’m starting to do a lot more public professional speaking. So if you have companies out there like contact us because you know, I have I now I literally have a talk called the methodical management of mental health. And I’m beginning to deliver that to different companies and organizations.
It’s going to be really an exciting year for me in that way. I see this podcast growing in a way where, you know, Neil and I were just talking, why not? Why not go on tour? You know, this, this could be something that we show up at your town. Now this might even be years of. Well, but when you look at intrepreneurial thinking you can’t be a flash in the pan you’ve got, and we’re going to talk about how to get your life, vision [00:12:00] together solidified, and then consistently executed over a period of time.
And I just think that people oftentimes struggle with their staying power. You run into roadblocks, you run into difficulties, you know we’re trying to grow the show. We’re trying to do some different things, but do you know how many podcasts there are out there? 10 billion.
Matthew Hanks: It’s easy to get lost in the sea of content these days.
Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: I actually had a show that I started a light call. How things are made or how, how stuff works. That’s what it is. And they were talking about that one day on their podcast. They’re like talking on their show, like, man, we started this before podcasts were big. I don’t know how they start out. Now.
We wouldn’t have been able to do with it. And they’re really well-established. I mean, they, you know, they, they are able to make good money with it and all that. And you know, it’s tough to start out now.
Matthew Hanks: They they’d start the exact same way. Just like what you mentioned, you got to have a vision. So somebody has got a vision, a fault.
This is something I think we can do. You know, it’s inside of them. It’s a passionate, they have they have an interest in it. [00:13:00] So they start talking about it. Other people might want to listen is that they would start at the exact same way. That’s what you’ve done. And now we’re 175 episodes in.
Chris Gazdik: Neil told me 177 is what this was, is that I missed titled Ms.
Matthew Hanks: Ty. Okay. So 1 77. I mean, to cut you short
Chris Gazdik: though, you got to two additionals that we
Matthew Hanks: that’s, it that’s a lesson though, in business, under promise over deliver. Yes. It’s two, two bonus episodes,
Chris Gazdik: right? They talk about your why, and we’ve talked about this in our group. And I think when you’re talking about this little segment with vision, you’ve got to get clear about your, why we have a, he was on the show once David talked about that.
And I think he’s really good about holding us accountable to like, well, wait a minute. Why aren’t you doing what you’re doing? And I think that’s interesting, interestingly yeah. Was you, I’m glad you’re back for this. Remember how we talked about implicit bias. [00:14:00]
Matthew Hanks: Yeah. Well, was show on it. We
Chris Gazdik: had to do too, because it wasn’t enough.
Yeah,
Matthew Hanks: that was tough. One. It was a lot to think about often
Chris Gazdik: and guys that’s episode 1 74 and 1 75. Well, I often pull things together in my mind as I’m learning and thinking and creating content. Look at the challenge, all that we talked about with implicit bias beliefs about yourself and the world around you.
And then you switched to an underpinning of what is your, why for your vision, which creates your actions in your business or your marriage or your parenting, whatever vision you might be talking about. If you’re not aware of what’s implicitly going on with you, how do you even know your, why? Can you see how that plays together?
we’re not going to be able to go to implicit [00:15:00] bias, but I can use that in a lot of ways, but from your memory and what I’m saying right now, what does that mean
Matthew Hanks: to you? Well, we, we talked about implicit bias being things that are maybe under the surface that you don’t think about consciously, but that they feel every decision you make, every action you make the direction of your life, the things you want to work on.
And if you talk about somebody, why, when it comes to their vision for their life or why they’re doing their business, it kind of gets to that. It’s just peeling back the layers stuff you may not think about and talk about every day, but it’s fueling you and it’s driving you. So I think the two are related
Chris Gazdik: highly related and, and in a way that I’m concerned about for people It’s good to the next point on developing your vision.
You mentioned failure. What would you do if you were guaranteed to not fail well, your implicit biasness, you know, we tried to turn it into a positive. You remember that was a little bit of the Genesis of the part one, but a lot of the things that we focus on in thinking about implicit bias, like you were just explaining [00:16:00] and talking about is negative, is, are the ones that really get us.
And so when you have inherently negative, unknown base points that you’re focused on in your subconscious, and then you look at, well, why am I doing what I do? If that’s a question, if you really go deep on, that’ll help you to access, what’s really driving me what my fear of failure is. And all of that kind of thing.
Look, that is, that is a powerful blocking force that is in the mental health realm that, that stops people before they even start. Yeah. If you’re, if you’re looking at your marriage and you feel like this marriage could just never get better, that’s, that’s going to block you from healing and regrowing and reconstituting together.
Right? If you feel like my kids in the vision I have with my kids, they’re just not measuring up to what I thought this was going to be like where there’s implicit bias there. What’s your why as a parent, well, that’s [00:17:00] going to block you from being able to teach the real life lessons that you, that you really want to install.
I just, I just really wanted to pause there because I think that there’s a lot in that episode, 1 74 and five, that, that plays into all sorts of things like this component of, you know, being an entrepreneurial mind and getting things together and feeling so lonely and hopeless with it. So check those out.
We’ll we’ll pull those into this. Why just did all right. Let’s let’s move on though, to. Th that focusing, what did you say? How did you put it? What would you do if you never failed? Say
Matthew Hanks: that again? Just the question to ask yourself, what is it that you would attempt if you knew you could not fail?
Chris Gazdik: ’cause I think, I didn’t realize that you were gonna bring that, but that, that, that brings this little segment to a close beautifully, because people envision loudly what they fear. How about that for a quote that that’s, [00:18:00] that’s a good one. Neil people envision loudly what they fear. And when you’re looking at your vision and you’re looking at what you’d like to have in your life, if, if, if, if failure or the potential of is loudest in your thinking, man, that sucks.
You, you, you can’t really get out of the gate when you’re trying to start a business. If you’re starting it off with that kind of mindset, you’re how screwed are you? You’re really going to have a hard time. Yeah. So in the book that I wrote, I’m going to give a self plug.
Matthew Hanks: Okay. What’s your show. You can, you’re
Chris Gazdik: allowed to do that.
I know, right. I am getting a class together for the book, not ready to make that announcement, but I guess I just did her out in the world. And I, what I did is I, I thought through and really examined what I literally wrote and I put it onto four different sections. And one of them is focus points.
That was one of the things that kind of in real [00:19:00] understanding your emotions and becoming your best self focus points was a big component. So look at these chapter titles, I just want to run through them real quick, get your mind to be thinking about this, and then we’ll go onto the next section of what is really an entrepreneurial.
Okay. So focus points is a huge part of re understanding your emotions and becoming your best self one of four. So chapter 1.6, focus on encouragement from other others, or learn to encourage ourselves with positive thinking. Chapter 12. Some people falsely believe they don’t have feelings or emotional experiences.
Okay. Chapter 20 humble people are happy. People. That’s a focus. What, how humble are you? Chapter 23, the body goes as the brain thinks, okay. Chapter 27, we experience most what we focus on the most chapter 31 focus on time. Flexible thought in the present is required to let go of regret from the past or [00:20:00] worry about doom in the future.
I love chapter 31. There’s a lot there. Hm. Chapter 32. We choose what we focus on. You know, the phrase that I hate, I hate it when people are like, well, how do they put it? You peop people are choosing to be, you know, unwell or P people just choose not to get better. And. I know that sounds like I agree. I do totally agree.
The thing that bothers me is that there are things like anxiety. You don’t even know you have it, but it’s wrecking you depression. Wow. That’s why I feel so unmotivated. You know, there’s, there’s things that people aren’t choosing there, but the flip side and the real gem there is that you can choose what you focus on.
And I hit that pretty hard in chapter 32, because you got to learn how to do that. But again, chapter 32, we choose what to focus on what we focus on in part determines how we feel. Okay. So that just gets your brain working a little bit [00:21:00] on, you know, what are some of those questions? What are some of those quotes?
How can these things really live out in your life? We’re here to make this mystery today come alive. Okay. So let’s back up. What’s an entrepreneur, you were talking about a little bit more of business. And I agree with you in, in large part. I dunno, I, I want to expand that a little bit. So definition a person who engages or organizes and operates a business or businesses taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so.
And I think that matches kind of what you’re what you’re saying. Right?
Matthew Hanks: I think so. I didn’t write it, but yeah, I can go along with that.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. So I, I, in the, in the Facebook, before the mix came on, I said it, I’m going to say it again. I think it’s a cool thought when I’m really looking to hire people. And I’m really looking for somebody to join Metrolina, psychotherapy associates.
I want employees that think like the owner, because it gives you a different mindset. I [00:22:00] think that you can be an entrepreneurial mind, even when you’re, you know, quote unquote, working for the man, right. I mean, if you’re driving a truck, how can I do that in the most earnest way that benefits me and the company, because when it benefits the company, I’m more valuable to company and it benefits me that’s intrepreneurial mind.
Right. So I think that we’ll keep, we can extend this out til it, when you have a strong vision in your life, like we just talked about in the first segment, and then you’re engaged in something that the company’s doing. Don’t you think your boss is going to pay close attention? And at some point really recognize like, wow, that guy is doing what I need.
I need that guy or that gal, my 20 year old is really engaged in a lot of this right now. It’s awesome to watch him work through what he really wants and his life. We just had a deep conversation this afternoon, cause he got another opportunity and he’s a young mind for him. Yeah. He’s [00:23:00] energized. He’s hungry.
That’s great. He’s, he’s wanting, he’s wanting, what’s the best opportunity for me. It’s just got another opportunity, you know, but, but he’s also got to frame it in that vision, his detailing company that he wants to really own and run is that the priority now or not, and those are questions that he’s really working through.
It’s really cool to watch him do that. And I think everyone listening to the show can do that in a lot of ways. Does that make sense? The sound too idealistic?
Matthew Hanks: I don’t think so. It’s great to hear your sons having that kind of success too. That he’s hard work paid off and he’s got options ahead of him.
And he’s thinking in terms of what’s what’s going to be the best avenue for him going forward.
Chris Gazdik: It’s really cool to watch his brain work on it. He just, he just left the car lot that he was sailing for and it was emotional for him. But you know, which is another point. How do those emotions that you have play into that, you know?
And, and you gotta be on top of that and, and managing that. Now. I want to draw a distinction here. When we, when we get in here talking [00:24:00] about why intrepreneurship can be lonely. We’re not really talking about just side gigs. We’re we’re, we’re, we’re not really talking about, I’m not, I don’t know how to say it, but you know how people sell dishes and you know, Tupperware, and I’m not, I’m not Downing those please.
Anybody that’s doing them. That’s great. But, but that’s not a, your life drive. That’s not, doesn’t put your hair on fire. This is something that you enjoy and you can make some money at, and I’m not. That’s awesome. But what we’re really talking about here is when you you’re, you’re taking a, a life course change.
You’re considering the pandemic has come. I’ve always wanted to open up a restaurant. Now’s the time. Cause a lot just closed. I can jump into this. I can do this. That’s a life course change. So I’m thinking about it on, on kind of that level from this point out in our, in our conversation. Okay. Okay. Is an entrepreneur mind person, a networker it’s a big plus, right?
Sure.
Matthew Hanks: [00:25:00] Helps. Like in most, any
Chris Gazdik: business, if you’re, if you’re not it denotes relationships and building them and go going with that this is a little bit of a foreshadowing. When we get to the section on how do you manage, you know, the loneliness and the emotional challenges. Boy, it is really tough to do when you’re in your own head when you’re in your own feels.
As I say, when you’re, when you’re isolating and you don’t really want to ask questions or talk with people. That dude, when you opened up Hanks realty.com, how many people did you talk about the things that you needed to consider setting up? You remember those days?
Matthew Hanks: Yeah. Talk to a number of people. I had plenty of people try to talk me out of it, you know, really?
Yeah. Math, you don’t know what you’re getting into, you know, it’s far better just to be well, and then let somebody else take the risk and let somebody else [00:26:00] in a lot of ways, pay the bills. You know, I think sales is kind of where I gravitate toward, towards, in any operation organization and the highest paid people in a lot of organizations as a salespeople.
Like you, you know, you’re actually gonna make more money. If you let somebody else own the company let’s make to run the company and you just sale is so easy. That’s what they say. Yeah. And I don’t know that I disagree with it really. I don’t know that I necessarily disagree with it because everybody’s not cut out to run a business or own a business.
You know, entrepreneurship is not for the faint of
Chris Gazdik: heart. That’s true. That’s true. I think people really can unleash. I would disagree with you a little bit there let’s, let’s park out here for just a second, because the fears that people have, the doubts that people have, the naysayers that they have in their life.
I mean, there is something that sets Michael Jordan off in his mentality than to other basketball players. I don’t, I don’t doubt that. And I don’t think everybody needs to do this for sure. But in the way of, [00:27:00] you know, the things that you prioritize, whether it be your finances or your business or your marriage, you know, the things that really get you geared into life.
There’s a lot of people that have become a pastor, you know, because of this. They’re not really geared with all of the business knowledge upfront therapists are known for open up their practice, not knowing anything about business. Yeah.
Matthew Hanks: Well, I think it’s a lot of people though. You know, the idea that the knowledge and the skillset and the day to day, and the challenges that you face on in the business is very different than what it is actually doing.
The work of the business. Not a lot of cases. Think about Jordan, you know, you brought up Jordan. Okay. Owns the Hornets. Okay. He was world-class as a player, the greatest ever basketball player.
Chris Gazdik: They’re pretty good right now though. I know where you going. They’re playing real well,
Matthew Hanks: but would you say that Jordan is world-class.
A, the owner of probably not. Okay. So he, he might be good. [00:28:00] He might be a, B minus. He was an a plus player. It’s just two different things, you know, just because he knew the world of basketball on the court doesn’t mean you step into a operations role or a management role or ownership role, and you’re necessarily gonna be good at it.
That’s kinda my point. Not everybody should jump out and become an entrepreneur.
Chris Gazdik: So, and, and I don’t know how I feel about this, but let me throw this in there because I did come across an article that I thought was kind of cool. They layered out different types of intrepreneurial ship. And that, that goes with this.
They said there there’s builders. There’s the opportunist, there’s an innovator. And then specialist, I guess I fall into line of a specialist with. Mental Health, but I really like to create a, you know, that’s, that’s part of what I really enjoy is a creation. So that, that would, that would denote builder as well.
I don’t know if there’s, I think there’s, you can’t be what you’re not. I think that’s what I hear you saying. And maybe if you’re in a role that isn’t really [00:29:00] suiting, you you’ll feel the discomfort of that. I mean, you’ll know when you’re engaged in something that, that energizes you. I mean, I do the show.
I can be doing therapy all day long and I’m just wore out the time the end of the show is done. I’m like, I’m energized. It’s like, okay, well that tells me something. So maybe that’s something to pay attention to, not the loneliness and this energy comes
Matthew Hanks: from. Yeah, because back to my example was talking about sales, you know, more money, less hours, less stress, less risk.
Sounds good. All of those things are positives, you know, but it was just inside of me that like, you know, there may be positives, but it’s just inside of me. I just have to do it. You know, there’s more risk. It might cost me, you know, all these different things that I’m putting in more hours, but it was just part of my overall career path and who I wanted to be as a person.
And you know, who, I felt opportunities for myself that, of who I wanted to be. I wanted to try it and I just couldn’t be
Chris Gazdik: talked out of it. And it was worth it, [00:30:00]
Matthew Hanks: I think, long run. Yes. But if I took a step back in some ways with the business, I mean, it’s not, not necessarily a step forward when you go out and open your own thing or.
Chris Gazdik: Which we’ll get to shortly about a lot of what, what was that? There’s a lot of myths out there about, yeah. Uninformed optimism is the transition piece there. Okay. So let’s get to the depths here on the title, right? Intrepreneurial the lonely road. This is tough stuff. When you’re doing a major life change in direction in your life, whether it’s forced by divorce or death or something like that, there’s a lot of hopelessness that settles in, and this becomes really, really different.
To, to live through it. Isn’t all that it’s cracked out to be. And [00:31:00] unfortunately when it, when it starts from, so this comes from the, I need to get you the book so that you can have it on the show notes the 12 week year we were forced to revisit our mastermind group. Craig, I’m just joking, man. We love it.
It’s not forced. I just pop him at it
Matthew Hanks: added to the list of homework.
Chris Gazdik: Yes, yes. So, which, by the way, we need to probably dig in his afternoon when you and I, when we’re done at least to be able to have a conversation Tuesday. So they had a really, really cool thing that was in there that I’m using. At to demonstrate the process that you go through with, you know, what they talked about in 12 week year th that entrepreneurial people go through check, check this out.
There’s phases, there’s stages, right? The phases of an entrepreneurial ship, uninformed optimism, informed pessimism, the valley of despair, informed optimism, leading to success and filming that’s the quick and dirty of it. But what you’re talking about is [00:32:00] uninformed optimism. People say, oh, I’m gonna own my own company.
I’m going to do my own thing. This is going to be great. No, one’s going to tell me what to do and to make a lot of money. This is guy, why wouldn’t I want to do. Well, there’s a lot to it that it ain’t just that, I mean, I’m here doing budgeting stuff and detailed analytics for payroll and crap. It’s like, you know, that doesn’t have anything to do with therapy.
Well,
Matthew Hanks: that’s where the, why has to kick in. You got to have a big, why, I mean, to, to run the company cause like you as a therapist, I mean, you may be able to serve more clients, make more money, have less stress, have less risk, all these things. I could to be a therapist inside of a large organization where somebody else is handling all that nonsense.
And if they treated you well and they respected you and you’re compensated well, and you were able to the things that are important to you, you’re able to whoa, gosh, was that. You’re able to exercise those things that are important to you, whatever it is, you know, your spin on things. [00:33:00] If you’ve got a certain methodology as to how you practice those types of things, they’re not taking away your creativity and clinical, who you are, clinical freedom, let’s say you’re offered clinical freedom, a beautiful office.
You’re respected. You’re con well, compensated could be better for you to be a part of a much larger organization, or maybe
Chris Gazdik: it doesn’t have to. Why is I like to build up young therapists? I like to help out. So there’s the
Matthew Hanks: why. So as you hit the, the junk, the crap, like payroll, like insurance, like leasing a building, like all that nonsense.
Okay. And that’s what it feels like. Like what, why am I, why am I having to handle payroll, help clients, but, but that’s what comes along with it. But if your why inside is so powerful and just burns inside of you, that you’re. Plow through that
Chris Gazdik: stuff. But what you gotta be careful about is the first stage that they talk about uninformed optimism.
When you don’t know all of that, and you run into that, that will hit you upside the head.
Matthew Hanks: You just about can’t skip that step though. I mean, you, you, you, you know, tell them how to avoid it. [00:34:00] You can’t avoid it. I mean, you don’t know what you don’t know if you’re going into any business, whatever it is you, you can’t possibly know.
You could sit down and interview, you know, 10 different folks that ran therapist’s office. Hey, tell me, tell me the good, the bad, the ugly about, well, guess what you could spend hours with each one of them. There’s still stuff that you’re just not going to know. You
Chris Gazdik: have to tactically understand it by doing it
Matthew Hanks: and you’re broke and you’re not gonna do it.
You’re not gonna move into it probably unless there’s a certain amount of optimism. So I
Chris Gazdik: think that’s where uninformed, the naivete that kind of comes in. And then when you deal with that, then you have, what you’re talking about is informed pessimism. And that’s where you’re really kind of understanding.
The challenges that are there. And the informed nature of the pessimism means that you’re, you’re forming your company. You’ve come, you’ve come through a life change. You’ve made a decision and now, you know, kind of what you’re up against in the challenges. But then really, and this I think gets at what Courtney wanted to [00:35:00] talk about with the idea of mental health and business, the lonely road.
You get into a place of despair, let’s really call that what it is. Company owners, business owners, and entrepreneurially minded folks get into what did I just do in my life? I’ve experienced it
Matthew Hanks: and I have to, I’ve been through it. I mean, I, I think these phases are very well-informed right by, by the writer or who developed these, if they were borrowing from somebody else’s teachings or whatever.
But I, I think these apply to a title right across the board. I bet with just about any entrepreneur sets out to do their own thing.
Chris Gazdik: And we’re going to talk about. Your marriage, what you, what you choose to do with your kids. This does apply. Keep on pulling it together in your life that you set as a major goal for yourself.
You will come across the valley of despair, all you newlyweds out there that might be listening to it. And you’re a year in, [00:36:00] you know, what happened the day after we got married. I didn’t see that coming. This stuff happens in life a lot. And we’re going to talk about how to, how to manage it and how to get out of that.
But this, the last segment that we go in goes right at this valley of despair, because you’ve got to get through that. And then big question then is, well, how do you get through that, Chris? Okay, well, we’re going to talk about that, but this valley of despair, I don’t want people to be shocked because you’re going to hit it more than likely a hundred percent of the time when you go through a major life change, you know, talk about divorce when you get divorced.
You know, we did a showcasey and I did the valley of despair. When you’re single, I’m not lovable. I’ll never date again. This is terrible. Oh my gosh, this date married. What am I going to do? That’s really, really a normal phase that you, that you go through, but it’s a phase, right? You’re you’re, you’re missing the tree for the Forester.
Is that how they say it? Because can look at what comes next. Like [00:37:00] in informed optimism. Wait a minute. I got through some things. I had some wins. Woo. Last month was tough, but this month the budget’s coming together. Wow. I wonder how I can build this further and you begin to develop an informed optimism and then you really get to the success and filament of the, why that you even started this in the first place.
It’s a hell of a ride.
Matthew Hanks: You know, the quote that comes to mind. I think it was Jennifer general pattern. If you’re going through hell. Keep going. All right.
Chris Gazdik: It wasn’t patent it. Wasn’t not. And you heard that from me. That was your quote. That wasn’t my quote. It’s my favorite life quote. Okay. Cause I hit upon some tough times and I watched John Kirk.
Okay. And I talked about it in groups. Well, I think you got it from me. And then I watched the darkest hour and it was Winston Churchill.
Matthew Hanks: Churchill. Okay. Yeah. Great quote though. Oh, amazing.
Chris Gazdik: Quote. You know, if you’re going through hell, keep going, keep going. Absolutely. Yes. [00:38:00]
Matthew Hanks: Yeah. Cause there’s, there’s more phases.
There are
Chris Gazdik: more phases. Yeah. You’re
Matthew Hanks: not stuck. Oh, you’re in despair. Guess what? You’re in phase three. You’ve made it to level three. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: And man, but when you’re in it, it doesn’t feel that way. And that guy was in the middle of it. Having Hitler breathe down the country’s back. Like they were going to die.
All of them. It was a powerful, powerful movie. The darkest.
Matthew Hanks: Well, what, what you had to understand though, is that there’s, there’s a phase four. If you’re going through phase three, just keep in mind. There’s a yeah. Informed
Chris Gazdik: optimism. And then there’s a face to what it’s about. You know, what to look for, you know what to look, you know, excited about.
It’s informed optimism. I know I love this right. Uninformed optimism, kind of bad informed pessimism. You’re getting it. The valley of despair. Holy cow. You’re in it. It’s tough, but it’s coming. Yeah. Informed optimism in the last phase is really this, the success and fulfillment that you do feel from [00:39:00] such an awesome venture.
You know, we ever ever talked to those hungry people in AA. That’s another one. Again, like recovery, you want to get your, your life relationship with alcohol is destroying your life and you get, you literally people will get sober and they’re like, my life sucks. This is horrible, nevermind that you’ve gone through three divorces for DUI, your liver’s shot and alcohol has been destroying you.
You finally got that out of your life. You’re sober and you hit into a valley of despair, but then you do 12 steps in a program or religion or whatever you do.
Matthew Hanks: There’s your phase four phase four informed optimism starts creeping in your breach phase four and the success
Chris Gazdik: in
Matthew Hanks: the fulfilled going forward from the way
Chris Gazdik: recovering people or some of them, what was one of my chapter quotes, humble people are happy.
People I’ve never met more humble people than you’ll find in the recovery community. Absolutely. I’ll stand by that until I die. [00:40:00] They’re there because they’ve been through hell and back and they’re standing back up.
Matthew Hanks: I sat down with a new client last week, Chris and the guy said, he’s talking about some of his, his life journey, things they’d gone through.
He said he was homeless for a period about a year and a half business failed. He said it was one of the. times of his whole life looking back, he said, looking back now, I’m certainly, I’m certain why he was going through that. He wouldn’t have not said that, but he said looking back, you know, it was one of the best things in my life.
It just gave him a new appreciation, gave him a new outlook, you know, I’m sure made him humble. They had a business and headache going big at one time and then found himself homeless for a period of time. But he said, look it back to one of the best things that ever happened to me. Wow. Homelessness.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah.
I literally have talked to people in a therapy, my therapy rooms that have had life events like that. And you do get out of those spaces. You know, we, we, we did an, a passionate plea for people that are, you know, after [00:41:00] the breakup, when Casey and I were talking about, I happened to feel that’s one of the most, de-compensated emotional states that people get into.
But they, but you recover, you heal the life, doesn’t end with a divorce. It really doesn’t and you find yourself. In that, because you’re forced to life, doesn’t end. This is a weird statement, but I’m going to follow it through life. Doesn’t end when your loved one dies, think about that your life, their life has ended.
And that’s super hard. It’s a grief process and all of that, but your life continues to go on when you’re widowed or when you’re a widower, you know, or, you know, we we’ve, we’ve, we’ve, we’ve seen some things with that recently, and we’re going to watch the process of those that we care about that have great losses like that kind of come back up because you have now an informed optimism.
I love those, that phrase. Isn’t it. You have an informed optimism about what life can be [00:42:00] for you. Now people do get stuck. I will, I will highlight that people do get stuck in that. And again, this is where a lot of businesses falls in the valley of despair. They never get out of it. That is where companies die a lot of the times because they won’t go further and they’ll just close up shop and give up.
Or their fear gets the better of them. That side of it happens a lot of times partnerships. Oh my gosh. You know, you develop a partnership. That is probably why partnerships, what do they dilate? 80% of the time.
Matthew Hanks: I don’t
Chris Gazdik: know that stat. It’d be interesting to know. I made up that number, so don’t hold me to it.
But they, but they struggle a lot because that’s an involved relationship with your business partner. Yeah. Super hard. Yeah.
Matthew Hanks: So hard. I mean, I’ve, I’ve rarely, we find someone that says, yeah, you know, you know, go into a partnership. Most people, if they’ve been down that road will advise you don’t even consider it, avoid it.
If you, if you can avoid it,
Chris Gazdik: avoid it. Yeah. So a couple other things to think about with this. What [00:43:00] is this really get so lonely? Your, your risk tolerance issues is a big thing to factor those risk takers out there are built in bread. Kind of like you said, at all, ROMs, right? They are built in bread. Just like you said a little bit ago.
If you don’t have a high risk tolerance, that’s okay. You know, a major life change where you’ve taken more risks is not a great thing for, it
Matthew Hanks: seemed like you disagreed with that. When I said that they’re not, everybody’s cut out to be an entrepreneur.
Chris Gazdik: Glad you called me back on that.
I disagree with the potential that people can be that way. Okay. So here, here’s an interesting question. If your risk tolerance is currently low, can you increase your risk tolerance? I would say yes, but you have to do that. You can’t go further until you address that focus point. Develop more knowledge, get some more training, get, you know some other kinds [00:44:00] of support get a new office manager, you know you can, you can do things, but you have to back up and look at your risk tolerance, increase that purposefully.
And so, yeah, I think that we can unleash those types of things.
Matthew Hanks: I find the risk tower as my fault towards this, the risk tolerance. Like you say, let’s say it’s a category. Let’s say you got a report card and risk tolerance. Where do you rate what grade you get on risk? Okay. That’s one of about a hundred different categories of things that you need to be proficient at in order to be an entrepreneur.
That’s what I was submitted to you. Okay. So here’s the thing, somebody that’s a, let’s say a great entrepreneur. Let’s say they, they rank high on all the main categories that you need, the risk tolerance, the whole, but the work ethic, the drive, the why the people skills, the everything it takes. Right? Okay.
Networking. Okay. One person is great at that. They set to open a business and the business goes great. Let’s say it employees, 50 [00:45:00] people, a hundred people. Okay. You got one entrepreneur. The rest of them are on, get on the bus. It’s the entrepreneurs, bus, their dream, their vision, their company. Everybody else can jump on the bus.
They got a seat on the bus and they may be happy there. That may be their calling and they’re able to thrive and prosper and provide for their families and all, but they’re not the entrepreneur.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. Yeah. I see what you’re saying.
Matthew Hanks: I’m saying the entrepreneur. Yeah. Cause I think there may be people out there.
It might be listening to. You may beat themselves up or they feel like they’ve reached a certain place and let’s say, they’re cutting hair. Like, you know what? They’re a great stylist, but there’s just something inside of them. They’re not happy unless they own the salon, right. An entrepreneur. I’m like, don’t beat yourself up about that.
If you’re a great stylist and you enjoy what you do, you make good money, you got time for your family. All these different things are important to you in your life. Don’t go to bed every night, beating yourself up. Because you don’t own a salon. [00:46:00] Yeah. It might not, might not be for you to own the
Chris Gazdik: salon. My pushback a little bit is just that, that doesn’t have to be as select few and taking the mindset, like thinking like the owner and that’s, that then would be an entrepreneurial mind in business, but you’re not doing a company.
And, and so I, you know, when we’re looking at intrepreneurial minded stuff and why it’s lonely when you’re, when you’re trying to apply that to a, an area of your life like parenting or, you know, or maybe you don’t want to have kids. I knew people. I was just talking to somebody in the last week that was struggling with like, I don’t really want to have kids.
Is that okay? And I’m like, well, of course it’s okay. You know? So what, what intrepreneurial mind, what vision are you creating for your life? And I’m kind of combining those two and we’re having a strictly business show. I think I’m totally on board with, with the way you’re looking at that. Well, and
Matthew Hanks: overall organization, there’s a hundred, let’s say there’s a hundred people, you know, there’s one.
Yeah. Or two, well, [00:47:00] yeah, you know, 99, 98 of the other people are doing something else besides owning the company, but they can be very fulfilled. They can be successful. They can provide a living for their family, all those things. And, and
Chris Gazdik: I’ll bring it back to the segment that we’re on. Why does this get so lonely?
Because there’s only one of you in a hundred people, that’s
Matthew Hanks: part of the, that’s
Chris Gazdik: part of what makes this so lonely.
Matthew Hanks: Yeah. And I think the reality and what, and the thing I’ve found is you say you’d like people to have that ownership mentality if they’re a part of the organization, but the, but you know, just the reality of it is that’s just not the case.
You know, most people in the organization, there’s one person that owns it and. It’s difficult to find other people that are going to match your work ethic, your determination, your willingness to do whatever it takes to succeed. That’s what an owner does. No. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: I, I said there’s a little bit of a, a little bit, if not a lot of natural anxiety in the entrepreneurial person, they’re driven, they have a drive, they have an anxiousness that, [00:48:00] that comes out in I’m going to work hard and create something and that anxiety can serve to, to, to Trump, into loneliness as well.
And then there’s the phrase, you know, you ever heard of the, you don’t ever want to let them don’t ever let them see you, sweat. You ever hear that phrase that creates the loneliness, that these things, that you’re the one in the 100 group for that company that is alone in that it creates this loneliness.
I mean, it, it really is. It’s one of the aptitude cities. I mean, honestly, I think I’ll make this statement. If you’re a business owner or want to be, I mean, it would be awesome and amazing to find an entrepreneur. Minded group like the mastermind. Well, they exist. They
Matthew Hanks: exist. Yeah. There’s multiple groups
Chris Gazdik: and his friend, Craig graves wants to run them.
Yeah. It was running. He w
Matthew Hanks: we’ll be excellent at that. Right. As he goes down that road, but you know, in an organization, gripes should go up. Praises should go down. And if you’re at the top, who do you gripe to?
Chris Gazdik: That’s item number D when you’re at the top. So to speak even of a [00:49:00] small company or a single operation, there seems to be no one to talk to that can understand the pressures that the quote, the buck stops here.
I mean, he created that, that, that quote, the president did because it’s really true. I mean, people come to me all the time, you know, wanting me to solve these little problems, these little things come on. And I’m just like, I don’t know, figure that one out. Let me know if there’s a major problem, but the reality of it is it does come to me.
Ultimately, it, it, at least in our little realm here of Metro, on it’s psychotherapy associates, and so
Matthew Hanks: well, Out of a hundred person organization, you’ve got a problem. You should always be able to go to your superior and discuss it with them. Right. Well, guess what if you’re at the top, who do you
Chris Gazdik: go to the Lord?
Oh, you did. You just did the pray, right? God help me. And you do have boards and you have, you know, consulting groups and things like that, that, that you could do, but it is, it’s tough. It’s not, you know, you can get stuck in the moment real, real quick, real, real [00:50:00] easily. And so thus that begs the question.
How do we deal with this, man? How do we get through the valley of despair? How do we get to the other side? I
Matthew Hanks: think you, you’ve got to I think realized number one, if you can realize that’s where you. And realize that there’s multiple phases and then you realize you’re in the third phase, like, oh, okay.
Well, I was once in the third grade. Well guess what I didn’t say in the third grade, you know, I mean, we all went through the third grade now we’re in the fourth grade, fifth grade, whatever. Well, guess what, if we understand that there’s five phases. Yup. And you can understand that you’re, if this is just a phase
Chris Gazdik: gives you staying power presence of mind,
Matthew Hanks: you know, don’t panic.
Don’t stop. Don’t get discouraged. I mean, you’re in despair. So of course there’s going to be some discouragement, but if you’re
Chris Gazdik: going through hell, then keep going.
Matthew Hanks: Yeah. Yeah. The, the. Brightest hour is after the darkest dawn. Is that the, oh, that’s a good one. You know, I, Hey, it’s about to get a whole lot better.
If you’ve [00:51:00] gotten to the bottom then guess what? It’s trending upwards from there.
Chris Gazdik: Alcoholics synonymous talks about the bottom all the time. You know, you, you reached your bottom and you could not get that life with addiction anymore.
Matthew Hanks: No matter where, how far you fallen, how low you are, if you’re trending up and you’re pointed your trajectory is up, then there’s brighter.
Days ahead after you’ve got to find something to hang on to, to be encouraged about, to keep putting one foot in front of the other and take a deep breath. So hope generator. Yeah. And, and we can, you know, we can be there for each other at times like that too. If you can find somebody that’ll just. Take you to lunch, you know, take a phone call that you can text back and forth with just something that’ll help you
Chris Gazdik: day-to-day.
So we go back to my, my planting a seed. And when we started out the show, if you’re in an entrepreneurially minded person, if you’re doing a business venture or you’re making a major life change, so let’s have this conversation about making a major life change. And the emotions that come in that process [00:52:00] networking is good.
Being alone is bad. You cannot generate that hope in your own mind, particularly when you’re mired in the depression, the disgust, the, the, the. Oh, they’re just a horrible vision that you get with the valley of despair, walking through the valley of the dead bones. You know, I mean, it’s hard to really stay and speak truth in life and, you know, hope into those tough times.
And when you reach out to others, just for a lunch, as you say, or whatever it might be, do that don’t, don’t, don’t I say all the time on this show, whether we’re talking about different topics, don’t be alone. That’s a huge part of managing, you know, these problems, episode 49. We did a whole show on loneliness.
As soon as you talk about making a major life change and feeling lonely in that change, as you’re trying to make it work, check out episode 49. [00:53:00] We did, we looked at because loneliness is increasing in the world today, wherever so connected, wherever, so joined so-so so to speak, but yet we feel much more alone than we ever.
I it’s such a conundrum and it’s increasing in the world right now. Right. So check out episode 49. And then we also go back, you know, you’ve said it a few times, know your, why you’ve got to know why you’re doing what you do. And when you do that directly pushes you through the valley of despair that we’ve talked about so much in that section, there’s a
Matthew Hanks: seven levels exercise that helps identify the why the true, the deeper part.
So, if you say, well, why are you doing it? And you have an answer and then you ask, well, why is that? And you go, and you do that seven times, seven times, and you just, and it’ll just keep drilling down and you’ll [00:54:00] get to the deeper
Chris Gazdik: places a little more about let’s start that over and tell people what that is.
Cause that’s, that’s a, that’s a good activity. So here’s an activity that you can do when you’re making a major life change.
Matthew Hanks: Yeah. Well, you were just talking about how important the, why is. And so most people say, well, you know, Chris, why do you run a therapy office?
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. Yeah, because I really enjoy developing a culture and having other therapists that can kind of engage in that culture and really do good with mental health in our little area of the world.
Well, that’s
Matthew Hanks: cool. That’s great. Well, why is that?
Chris Gazdik: Yeah, because people really need help. They need a lot of mental health. Despair is out there.
Matthew Hanks: You know, I, I can’t say I disagree with you, but why is that? Why do you have, I think that they
Chris Gazdik: say, I might only need three or four because the power that, that has in an individual’s life and being able yeah.
Here’s what comes out of it. So being able to make an impact in one person’s life is an incredible gift to give,
Matthew Hanks: so it’s important to you that you make an impact [00:55:00] on other people. Yeah. Why would you say that
Chris Gazdik: is one more only one more. I think we’re only four. Yeah. We’re only at four
Matthew Hanks: pause and after about three or four, because it, it gets starts peeling the layers back, and now we’re getting deeper. You’re right. You know? Cause the first answer you gave is just, it’s just a surface. It’s just, you’re not even thinking yet. It’s just, oh yeah. The, the, well now, okay. Let’s peel back. Let’s get deeper.
Let’s go. And now, cause it could be that running a therapy office. When you get to your core, why there may be some other avenue out there, some other venture that helps you accomplish your why even better than running. I’m just giving an example.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for doing that. That was fun. In real time.
Yeah. I
Matthew Hanks: know. Put you on the spot with it, but, but you can, if you’re wondering what your, why is, you know, get with somebody to get with a friend. And acquaintance and go through the
Chris Gazdik: exercise is that seven, seven layers deep, and you won’t get to, you will begin to struggle. Like I started to struggle at [00:56:00] a, what was it?
Four, right. Yeah. You know, and, and you will, you will arrive at some, some interesting things. I thank you for that. Excellent teaching moment. I also say have a good plan you know, as a part of, you know, dealing with major life changes God, what pops into my mind in the mental health world, domestic violence, you know, there’s a lot, there, there might be some people that are managing and surviving domestic violence, and you’re like, what the heck is my life going to be like, if I’m doing this well, you can use it because of safety reasons, especially so.
One of the first things we do in domestic violence is just make a plan. What is your basic and fundamental safety plan for any given engagement where you feel your life or limb is at risk, have a plan and be prudent about developing that plan that, that leads you out of the valley of despair, because you’ve got your plan.
Let me just do it. I don’t have to analyze it anymore. I’ve already got an in place. Let me just keep on, like you said, keep going through it. Let me just do the next part of my plan. I don’t even think it’s [00:57:00] going to work. I’m so frustrated. I’m hopeless right now. I’m scared. I, you know, this may be me my life, but you know what, let me just do the next thing was on my plan.
What, what was it anyway, pulled up. And just, and do that. So you, so it is wise to have a good plan in place and being, and being prudent about it. You will need that plan a and D don’t. They want to make a business plan in a business,
Matthew Hanks: you know, well, you need one. I mean, your chances of success are going to go up drastically.
If you, if you have a game plan, at least a place to start,
Chris Gazdik: There was a cool article that I came across investopedia.com actually, and they identified these things and I just stole it and went with them. I didn’t steal it, I’m crediting them. But it kind of gets back to what you were kind of saying when you’re looking at making a major life change and particularly in business, these traits help.
And again, I don’t think they always have to be completely baked in there. You’re going to need to round some off rough edges, maybe three or four of these. You’re good at a couple of others you really suck at and other ones are [00:58:00] mediocre. Let’s really look at the ones you suck at, build those up a little bit, you know, but being versatile, being flexible, having some money set.
Being resilient. That’s a highlight in my mind, resiliency and emotional resiliency. You better say yes to this question. Can you build internal, emotional resiliency? Yes. Like, yeah, of course GAM my gosh, my entire industry is built on that. Right. Being focused, being business smart and communicators.
Those are things that they identified speaking strictly. I think in the entrepreneur world, you know, that help you to be successful, but I submit in major life changes. Those characteristics are important as well. Like I said earlier, this isn’t exactly a business show. Right. But, but, but if you’re getting, if you get interested, You really need to do research into the business aspects, you know, that will help your confidence grow a simple thing in business, know your competitors look around at what other people are [00:59:00] doing.
Now I throw that in and as I’m talking about, and kind of like not talking about looking at social media to see what everybody else is doing to gain confidence and comfort in yourself and get to get out of the valley of despair. That’s not what I’m talking about. Right. I’m talking about what do other people do that budget?
Well, how do we get, you know, let’s take the Dave Ramsey class. What do other people do with parenting? Maybe I can learn some ideas, research, loving logic, right? Well, what do other people do to improve their marriage? And we’re having a hard time looking to emotion focused therapy. Those are the three things that I call part of the trifecta.
You want a major area of life change. Look at some of the research, get to know what’s going on with that. And I think people do that naturally. So it’s a little bit of a, you know, like, duh, you know, why wouldn’t you, but I don’t know that people really take the time to do that. So I’m just kind of commenting, take the, take the time to do that.
Ask a lot [01:00:00] of questions. If you don’t have questions about this life, change that you’re wanting to engage in, then ask yourself why you don’t have questions and questions come to mind. And then you ask those questions. Please be curious, be quizzical, be thus in for. Be prudent. You might get bad information, but if you ask 10 people a question and you get nine different responses that are really good, it’s easy to find the one that doesn’t right.
So ask multiple sources, multiple questions, become an expert learn, and then you can execute a major life change makes sense. It makes
Matthew Hanks: sense to me, right? Yeah. Get curious, get curious. Just a different way of saying it. Yeah. Get good care of your questions. Get curious.
Chris Gazdik: Celebrate successes is a must as well.
You we’ve talked about the jar of success. Always
Matthew Hanks: something to [01:01:00] be
Chris Gazdik: thankful for. Yes. It humble people are happy. People book, quote, a chapter 15 or whatever it was. Right. Get friends. I’m sure people are like, well, I don’t have anybody to talk to. I’m looking around. I don’t really have anybody hanging.
Episode 21, we talked about friends or your central. I blew Craig’s brain apart. When we talked about that, he was like, I never really thought about it that way. He was fascinated at the way that I look at friendship and being purposeful about developing friendships. Don’t go in it alone. I just can’t say that enough develop and have a good team around you.
I mentioned a mastermind has helped us out tremendously. Guys, this, this thing that you’re going through this major life change can be really hard and scary and daunting and create loneliness and hopelessness and fear and anxiety and depression. But hopefully we’ve talked a little bit about some things that will guide you to get [01:02:00] out of the space that is driven by those things.
Choosing your focus point and getting geared in to make happen in your life. What it is that you feel you’re needing to change? How’s that
Matthew Hanks: sound? Yeah, it’s, life-changing stuff to consider it. And I love those five phases. I think they apply not just for entrepreneurship, but relationships, business lots of different, probably college journeys,
Chris Gazdik: a little bit tagged onto this.
I think next week, we’re going to talk a little bit about how to deal with a difficult boss. I popped that here for your awareness to keep your curious and it’ll combine well, you know, it, that you need
Matthew Hanks: to bring some of the people on my team on for that show. qualified
Chris Gazdik: for Metro Linac and participate in that particular episode too much might come out.
Well, thanks for coming back, Matthew guys, I hope you have a great week and we will check you then.[01:03:00]