Welcome back to part 2 of Implicit bias and why we do what we do. In this episode Chris looks at what are some ways implicit biases can affect your positively, and what your goal should be when dealing with the negative aspects. As a therapist, the number 1 priority is de-escalation when the bias takes over. Once you get a handle on that, then you can develop a plan to follow that will help you adjust the biases that are causing problems.
Tune in to see part 2 of Why Do We Believe What We Believe Through a Therapist’s Eyes.
Listen for the following takeaways from the show:
- Listener response discussing Episode 144 and the change of pace that a person now goes through when trying to do online dating. The number of choices and how fast you can go through them.
- Will technology get to a point where we can actually look at our implicit biases?
- There are 2 goals when dealing with implicit bias: De-escalate then come up with a plan to deal with them.
- Chris talks about steps you can go through to curb your reaction to implicit biases.
- To address your implicit bias, you need to involve external source or person.
- Episodes 58 and 59 are important because it covers tacit knowledge and how much your brain takes in without you realizing it.
- Check out Episode 163 on how you can challenge your assumptions (implicit biases).
- Having something that you can go to that reminds of the good that you have done is a way to confront those negative biases of yourself.
- You need to take an honest, unbiased evaluation of yourself.
- Use the intellect to confront the negative core belief which is likely part of our emotional brain.
- Whitworth University provided an article about how to challenge your implicit biases and behaviors. We did not have a chance go through this on the show.
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Episode #174 Transcription
Chris Gazdik: [00:00:00] Hello everybody. And welcome to another edition of Through a Therapist’s Eyes. I am still Chris Gazdik. Neil’s behind the scenes and this guy, Matthew Hanks is hanging out with us for the month of February on our little podcast show. If you’re happy to find us for the first time this is where we disseminate information.
We blow up stereotypes and myths about mental health and substance abuse. I like to say you get personal insights directly from a therapist in your own home and in your own car. We really like to see the lens through a therapist, but definitely, always be aware is not the delivery of therapy services in any way in the world that we live in.
I got to give them the disclosure to me. You know let me see five stars on apple iTunes, the podcast review sites really help us out. Please do that. We got some cool things coming up in 2022, not ready to make an announcement, but [00:01:00] are going to start catching a buzz about what what we can expect that we’re doing some new things.
So more on that, I guess in a, I think we’re targeting a couple of weeks kind of timeframe. But I’m pretty excited about it. I think you guys are gonna really enjoy what we’re going to make available. So stay tuned for that. This is the human emotional experience. We endeavor to figure this thing out together, interact with this contact@throughatherapistseyes.com helps us to talk with you.
Get together with you, leave your name and email so we can respond to you. We really like to get these interactions together, man. Actually, I’m going to start off with one that was. Today, and maybe I’ll try for the current event as well. Maybe I’ll do an honorable mention of the current event. So Sherry emailed in check, check this out, Neil.
She, I might need your help with this actually. Because just to see what you think about it, cause you remember the show that we did with Adam Cloninger. He was a guest cohost, probably a couple of months back. [00:02:00] I was really impressed with Sherry feedback about this particular show. She, she was listening to what was it?
Neil social dating in the social media environment or the apps. What do you remember by chance was the name was. Couple months ago is dating in the social media environment or something like that. Something like that. I’d have to go back and look. Yeah. And I didn’t prepare myself cause they just put it on my head because I was so fascinated at what she talked about, man.
She, she was listening to the show and you know, kind of made some statements slash questions about what she heard us talking about and what she was talking about is the pacing, right? The pacing of dating and dating interactions. And so if you think about it, she was talking about when you do this person to person.
You, you have to meet and greet. You make eye contact across the room, kind of thing. Think about what you’re going to say. They’re [00:03:00] observing you, you’re observing them. Maybe you walk up, you say something and then they say something, you kind of go back after you get your drink. Kind of, you know, Google a Google and for flirt a little bit and whatever, this is over the course of what Matt, like, like two, three hours, maybe you do this and you’re still in the proxemics fancy word of saying you’re close physically to each other.
Right. Which she said on these social meeting apps and you’re like, you’re, you’re pacing is totally weird. It’s abnormal. It’s not typical. Like you might do that within five minutes on your couch to six different guys. Right? What does that do to your psyche when you’re, when you’re dating?
Neil: I mean, that’s like speed, speed dating on steroids.
Cause you go through, you get that rush of like, I want to, I’m in interested in these, like this doesn’t people. And then you wait to see who responds and you, I get a faster response. You might not, but then you get that, that, that can be a huge up and down like that is no toll of, you know, that rush. And then that waiting.[00:04:00]
Yeah, no, it’s kinda like the whole text when you get those, those dots on your texts from people doing it and you’re just waiting anticipation
Chris Gazdik: and make no mistake. You won’t sit there thinking this current event here. Well, in this listener feedback, you know, you might say, oh, Sherry’s different. It doesn’t bother me.
I don’t get that euphoric rush. I just, you know, I’m hanging out on these things. Yes, you do. I’m telling you when you get a Dean and a buzz back and somebody is interested or they wave, or what does it wink at you? I don’t know. These apps be honest with you cause I’ve dated, but no idea. Yeah. You have no idea.
I’ve never tried it. I don’t know that you could even imagine. Cause I I’ve had conversations about it. I’ve never done it. You haven’t even thought about this. I would venture to guess Matthew, you have no idea what it’s even like. Well, there was
Matthew Hanks: no such thing. Yeah. I mean, the days of me back dating, you know, 15 years ago, plus no such thing as an app, right.
I mean, cell phones existed, but
Chris Gazdik: the biggest thing I did was dating paper ad. [00:05:00] Oh yeah. Now don’t mean no, make fun of that. I see the man’s facial expression is my mother met my stepdad that way. And I talked about that at worked. It was different. There’s was a lot of crazy stuff on there too. I know we ain’t.
We ain’t talking about the back of Craigslist or a no. What was it? Abby? Something. What was that weird one that I don’t know. I’m blanking, but there, there was a real weird one where you get the funky sexual stuff. That’s it’s just weird. Oh yeah. Yeah. Gross. You have a Sherry, you made a great point and you really triggered my brain to think about that.
How abnormal. The dating is on social media dating sites, and I’m not down on guys. Please don’t send hate mail at me and I’m not criticizing them. I’m just pointing out. She’s right. How very, very psychologically different that process is as opposed to the normal way that we have geared our neurons geared our brain systems, our limbic system, [00:06:00] you know, with, with oxytocin and our hormone systems all have had like Aeons right since time began of the human race, geared a certain way.
And now, boom, all of a sudden we have a completely different way of meeting, greeting and dating that I don’t know what the outcome of that is, but it’s, it’s a fascinating thing to, to talk about real quick one honorable mention. I saw, I happened to see the department of justice, our lovely department of justice, and the government has authorized.
We did remember Neil, a current event on a safe, safe injection sites. Tell me what that laugh is.
Neil: If it’s just about what they’re giving now that taxpayers are funding and that they given, what, what is it know that it’s taxpayer funded? It has to come from, if it’s from the government, taxpayers have to pay it. Don’t.
Chris Gazdik: Th this is you remember, we did a, we [00:07:00] did a current event on New York. And one other site in the country is doing safe injection sites where people that are in the substance abuse field want to allow heroin addicts and drug addicts that are doing their stuff on the street. They bring their own stuff into these safe sites and they supervise the actual use of their own drugs.
And the proponents would suggest that, you know, they’ve saved many people’s lives because of immediate overdosing, instantly unrelated, but related to. A spot where fentanyl is just going through the roof in the substance abuse field, out of control. Like people are dying because they don’t know what they’re taking.
They don’t know they’re even getting it. And so they can give Narcan like boom, right on the spot and potentially, you know, an addict overdoses. And that’s it is a, it’s a good opportunity for them to get real about like, holy crap. I just checked out and now I came back. Maybe I need to do something with my life.
But [00:08:00] department justice decided that they’re not going to, they’re going to allow more to open up. That’s what?
Neil: Okay. Because the one thing I saw was I think the Biden administration was I think, giving, going to, they suggest giving crack pipes. I think out now. Come on seriously. Is that documented?
Matthew Hanks: Yeah. No, it’s, it’s, it’s all over the news today.
It’s a $30 million grant. That’s why you’re saying government funded, but it’s, it’s, that’s what everyone’s talking about in the news. It’s a $30 million grant and I guess included in the grant was. I mean, well, there’s called smoking kits, but it’s pipes. And I heard it described as chap stick and crack pipes was what was in the smoking kits.
And that’s part of this $30 million grant. No, I didn’t have the time to read too much in depth, but I’m telling you, you check the, the new sites just today and it’s all over the
Neil: news, which could correlate with, you’re talking about making more safe sites [00:09:00] for, you know, drug users to go and be monitored as they do it, they could be tied together.
It’s just, of course, most people bring up the, the obvious. So when you log
Matthew Hanks: on and you see like, why is everyone talking about crack pipes. That’s where we are with. Okay. As of today.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. Well, I don’t know anything about that one. But I do know the, the safe injection sites is, is, is definitely, and I, I forget where I landed on it before.
I think I was kind of leaning towards, okay. That might be a helpful thing to help people with addiction, but as ever so slight of lean, because there was a, you know, we, we covered on there when we were talking about it. I was talking about it with a client and Guy was like, Hey, you give a safe site. It’s like, okay, I can try harder doses.
And this is going to be better. I mean, addicts have a way different way of thinking about things then than what is a typical rational thought. So you know, if it has potential helping people, you know, I’m kind of like, Hey, let’s go try, but definitely had some fallbacks to it for sure. And this.[00:10:00]
Giving people pipes, if that’s the case. I definitely don’t. I don’t see that, that doesn’t make any sense, you know, but I’ll make that statement. Let’s get onto what we’re doing today here. So thanks for that guys. And like I said, we’d like to tell you, stay in touch and Sherry also, man, thank you for responding and reaching out.
You guys listened to that as a model, man, that was a great point that she made. I never thought of it and just you know, she was experiencing it. And so she, she helped us see that that angle was stuff. So what we’re doing today is why do we do what we do implicit bias. We’re really playing off of what we did last week because I got halfway through it and I’m like, yo, this is, this is way too psychologically meaty because of the things that we’re talking about in the depth Venus of it.
And I just did not want to be rushed with it. Cause I think it’s such a profoundly important and prevalent thing that we’re all dealing with. So for, we do, man what’s the phone number? How do people find Mr. Matthew Hanks in his Hanks realty.com set up? I want to make sure they know how to get. Well,
Matthew Hanks: you’ll find us online at Hanks Realty, [00:11:00] group.com.
And as far as the phone number (704) 931-8480,
Chris Gazdik: rewind 7 0 4 9 3 1 8 4 8 0 8 0. I almost had the whole thing, man. I’m impressed. Cause my brain is not sharp. How are you feeling over there today? Feeling great. That’s a good topic. Yeah, it is. My, my brain is foggy, man. Now we’ll make it
Matthew Hanks: through it this week.
Well, you know, looking forward to talking about the positive side of implicit bias last week was more focused on the negative.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. And it’s interesting. Yeah. We’re going to touch on that a little bit. Real quick. Let me just, let me just explain my fog yet. I don’t know if it’s getting older. I don’t know if I’ve ever been directly honest about I’m 49 years old.
May do that as you get older, man. It’s like, I don’t know what happens to your sleep cycle and stuff. Like I was wicked tired. It was exhausted yesterday. So I went home and they’re like, dude, nine 30. I just crashed. I slept so hard. And the next thing I knew, I was hearing somebody coming to bed and it was [00:12:00] 12 30, 12 31 o’clock and I’m like, oh, okay.
Next thing I knew it was like two o’clock and then I’m up. And I’m like, well, my body’s like, dude, you had enough, you just time to get up. And I’m like, no, it’s not a stupid, you know, so, you know, I’m just up. And I’m like, geez, did some good reading finished with booking or got close to it. And then I got tired again at five o’clock and I was like, okay.
So now my body tells me I need more. And so it’s always sleep a little bit more. It’s time to get up. And I’m like, I don’t want to get up. The dude is checked up, man. And then I had seven of seven to eight therapy. So you might have to help me out. Well, let’s, let’s roll with it, get it. You’re going to have to help me out and make sense out of this stuff.
So what is implicit bias or popping you on the spot? I’m curious what you recall, what stuck in your brain, what you’ve been thinking about since we had that conversation just to review
Matthew Hanks: well, you know, one of the things I’ve thought about is as we described it, that it was something that affects every human being and [00:13:00] every decision every day, and you were describing it in that way, kind of a painting the picture, how broad of a topic it is and how it affects human interaction.
And so I don’t know
Chris Gazdik: that every single human, every single day, that’s a big statement. And I agree
Matthew Hanks: well, and I remember you describing it that way, but I think if you would’ve asked me before the show and we covered that, you know, it wouldn’t have been something. I realized that it’s affecting all of us all the time, every interaction,
Chris Gazdik: so crazy.
We can just stop and let that sink. In in, in last show, if you’re listening to this, when we tune in and you definitely have to push pause, let’s go back one episode. You got to hear that one first, honestly, because we’re not going to go in that. We’re reviewing a little bit. We’re just going to touch it though.
We gave great examples. I think of, you know, in your marriage and in parenting societal issues like police and what happens with implicit bias with police, there was a science versus article. I hope you guys listened to it cause there’s a [00:14:00] lot of great material that was in that particular episode from a lot 11, November, 2019.
And that’s when the show is actually born in my brain. Those interactions are constant and chronic member. The difference between implicit bias and explicit bias.
Matthew Hanks: So explicit is where you are with your consciousness, which you can think about and talk about. Perfect. And how it manifests itself with your, with your actions, you know, explicitly yeah.
Chris Gazdik: Concrete, black and white stated clearly with your cognition and your frontal cortex in operation. Yeah. And then implicit bias
Matthew Hanks: is the things that are causing you to think the way you think act the way you act, but you don’t even realize it.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. The subconscious is a powerful thing. And we talked about that last week.
We won’t go too far into that tonight, but dang, I just, th th th th the amazing aspect of your subconscious, I used it. I like to use the example of a childhood home. If you remember, I [00:15:00] said it, your subconscious, it knows to the exact number, how many steps your childhood home was? Steps. I mean, I just get amazed in that type of thing.
And then what happens with trauma experience and how you repress it and you don’t even remember that it happened, but it’s absolutely. And I think you used the metaphor on that terabyte hard drive. It’s just sapped over there and you can pull from it and you don’t even know you’re pulling from it, but your computer, which is you, is absolutely using all of that data.
And you tripped me out when you were talking about some smart dude talking about doing that on a computer or something.
Matthew Hanks: What was that? If I remember right, it was Elon Musk saying that at some point that computer equipment will be able to access that memory. Yeah, that’d be fascinating.
Chris Gazdik: I don’t even know how to think about that, man.
I really don’t. As we get computers operating and computing faster and [00:16:00] doing all that, I mean, y’all, I don’t know what we’re in for, with all the things in the way we just mentioned social media. You know, I’m not wanting to bash on technology, but it’s, it’s definitely different, which got near,
Neil: well, going back to that, there was actually a thing I saw where there was someone with ALS Lou Gehrig’s disease and they actually hooked neurons up and he actually sent a text using his brain.
Wow. Like that, the guy that goes back to the idea of we’re starting to grab that information, what, understanding what the brain sending. But yeah, supposedly he sent a text just, just with his mind. Cause with ALS your mind is perfectly functional. The body just shuts down. You can’t use anything, you know, I guess it gets to that point.
So that’s the start of that technology breaking in, breaking down your brain and starting to understand what’s going on. And I kind of scared if they can start seeing those implicit bias, you know, those things that you have in there that you don’t even know. That’s kind of scary what,
Chris Gazdik: oh my gosh, [00:17:00] that.
Yeah, I could, my brain could just go into that because what you just said, neurologically, if I, if I heard you correctly, a massive computer process can get into your automatic thinking process that is operational with wavelengths, neurons, firing Magilla fight or flight data in a computer coming out on the screen.
And, and that’s like, that’s almost a great analogy for the difference between implicit and explicit bias, right? Because what, what, what the computer screen tells you, your thinking is potentially tapping into the implicit biases. Whereas you think you’re thinking, let me, let me change that word. The computer screen.
In that case, if you follow this would be tapping into your core beliefs, your [00:18:00] implicit bias, and literally telling you with type text, what you believe and what you need to do. And you don’t even know it because you think you believe explicitly, like we just explained something completely different with completely different behaviors attached to it.
That would be crazy. Did you follow that? That makes sense.
Matthew Hanks: Well, it did. And that, you know, where my mind went with it is I wonder how much of a stretch it would be if they can read the information to rewriting it and actually
Chris Gazdik: manipulating it. Yeah. That’s when we’re going to get technology, I believe, you know, when we, when we start to develop, this is years off guys, I’m sure.
But when we start to develop an understanding of our body’s hormones and Dr. Craig, ChipKey talked about. You know, the psychedelic, the S ketamine treatment on GABA Benton, which we don’t deal with them in my field at all today, except for the now FDA [00:19:00] approved as ketamine treatment. We don’t deal with Gabapentin at all.
And, but how many other neurotransmitters in an operation that are, that are a part of all of this? I mean, it’s quite dynamic and we’ve covered that on shows past, but when we start being able to kind of lasers at that stuff and whatever, you know, things that we might be able to learn, yeah. We could probably literally change your OCD so that you’re not washing your hands 10 times an hour.
Like, I believe we may neurologically get to that point, but we’re quite a minute away from, well, I bet
Matthew Hanks: the accessing of information, maybe I’m going out on a limb. I bet it’s not that far away. All right. If it’s to the point that Neil was just describing where there’s always that interaction, it wouldn’t surprise me if it said, if it’s that
Chris Gazdik: far away, I mean, you got a lot of ethics and stuff there too, you know?
Genome mapping and, and, you know, designer, baby tops. Well, I’m not, I’m
Matthew Hanks: not saying, should we eat? Right? I’m saying
Chris Gazdik: there’s a lot of ethics. That’ll go in that. And what we can do [00:20:00] bounces up against that because you’re, I mean, you’re literally talking about beginning to manipulate people’s hormone, body structures, that’s matrix kind of stuff.
You know, the movie matrix. It really is how you feel I can manipulate by sending signals, whatever to your body triggering hormone explosions. Yeah. That probably might be possible, crazy to think. I don’t know. We lost half the audience because we’re in never, never land, but that’s, I bet
Matthew Hanks: it’s never, I bet it’s not as far away as we
Chris Gazdik: might think it would be.
You never think it is. I mean, we went from telephone to radio, to TV. Now we are zipping past all this technology, stuff like that. We’re speed dating light years. Yeah. So the positive aspect of implicit bias is, is an interesting thing. It, as you listened to the conversation last week towards the end, I think we came to a realization of, wow, wait a minute.
This is all [00:21:00] negatively focused. And I made the point that, yeah, no, if you have implicit bias, just automatic goggles that you have on where you see the world, that’s the metaphor they manipulate. Like everything you see through the lens of these goggles, those can be positive, just as much as negative. What have you been thinking about that, Matthew?
On the positive side? Yeah. Have you been thinking about that this week?
Matthew Hanks: Some of the things that people can make it through in life, the challenges that come across and how they end up dealing with that, or let’s say somebody wronged in a situation and they’re able to overcome that. And maybe it may be positive bias in their mind that certain people are, or people are good.
And maybe that helps them to forgive through certain situations. You
Chris Gazdik: know, we have believe it or not, [00:22:00] y’all we do have everyone realize really healthy life lessons that we learn. You know, sometimes every now and again, I was parents, people do get something right. And we teach a really healthy life lesson.
There’s a lot of hope in that because if you’re doing your best and you’re actually able to get a grand moment in a life lesson with your son, and I’m being a little silly about it. Cause I know we have many we got many negative ones as well, but we, we really do teach positive life lessons and. That is potentially becomes an implicit bias as well.
But here’s an interesting thing that I thought about. So we’re going to talk a lot tonight about how to accomplish the second goal of implicit bias management. I’ll put that term on it. The first goal is deescalation. If you remember, I’m going to call him out on that a little bit more as well, but in order to get to the second [00:23:00] goal of managing your implicit bias, you were on point and it’s a totally accurate perspective that first you really have to really understand that you have them right.
And the way that we really go into identifying that these are active. Here’s, here’s a perfect. Is to scan your S your, your emotional and physical body, like your system, understand when you get worked up or something says something to you, like something’s off something’s, you know, you feel that adrenaline, you feel stuff going on.
I mean, you, you know what I mean? And I think everyone’s experienced that, that indicates yo, hold up. Even what you’re saying might be different than what you’re feeling, and you can identify that going on and then go backwards to really honestly examine what racial thing am I really believing here? What parental thing in my really [00:24:00] operating from.
I know what I’m saying, and I know what I’m thinking, but this operates on my subconscious level. So how do I manage that? The indicator is your body just told you by adrenaline and cortisol and cortisone, and, you know, you’re, you’re hopped up. I don’t know what happens when you have a positive, implicit bias in place.
I mean, I don’t think you have really any body magnification of experience. It’s just, I’m grounded in this. I’m solid in this. People are good. I love people. So I don’t have a lot of threat in my life. Those are just implicit bias statements potentially. How do you know they’re there? It’s probably going to match your explicit bias.
Maybe there’s not a lot of incongruence there. So my point is, I think that’s just kind of an automatic process that I don’t know how you identify. I don’t think you can do anything about it. I guess you don’t want to do anything about it, but you don’t, you, you [00:25:00] follow what I’m saying there, that’s a tough thing to really identify the negative ones you can.
If you know what you’re looking at,
Matthew Hanks: I don’t know that you can though. I mean, how would you identify it? That’s what I’m saying. You have to go off of the explicit behaviors or something that you can monitor or recognize. Or measure in some way, something you can notice externally and then get and try to get to it that way.
Like what, what drives, you know, I see Chris Christa Fran out of Chris, I see this, this and this. So these are all the belief systems inside of you that are driving that behavior, causing you to do what you do
Chris Gazdik: that I love the way he just laid that out, because that is a way for you to identify. That’s a good point.
So, so in, in psychological clinical terms, what I heard you say is, Hey, there’s something about, I’ll turn it over Matthew that I’m looking at. And I’m really drawn to. I really like it. It makes me feel peaceful. Well, what is it [00:26:00] about Matthew that does that? I’m curious. So,
Matthew Hanks: so what if it’s something like that?
You know, implicitly, I feel that, you know, I need to be my brother’s keeper. We should care about each other. Friendships matter above a lot of other things in life. Those are my, my value system. That’s what I believe. And so what, how does that manifest in that when I’m around people and I feel that you and I have a relationship and we’re in a friendship, I’m going to be there for you when you, when you talk.
I’ll listen, when you look at me. Yeah. And you can sense that about that. So maybe that’s what draws and so that it externally, explicitly is what you notice and what you see. But it’s the internal and the implicit that is what’s fueling
Chris Gazdik: that behavior. Maybe there’s a magnification. They’re thinking out loud, this is just fresh off my brain, really?
In the moment, maybe the magnification is when you really feel strongly about something, you might not even really know why. And then you, you examine. [00:27:00] And then you begin to think back, maybe like two dad who was really strong with his brother. And you remember an event I’m making this up mate, where your dad just, you know, went and mortgaged the house.
And you wrote enough to understand that and you know, saved his brother from certain financial despair and that taught you something. Oh, wow. Maybe that’s why I’m super loyal to my friends because I learned you really need to stand up for people. That’s yeah. I like the way we just play that out. Answers a little bit of a quit.
Maybe that’s a magnification. You don’t really know why you feel so driven, you know, to, to behave or to do what you do. It might be a positively based implicit bias. That’s really buried in there. That’s that’s good stuff, man. Do you do psychology for a living?
Matthew Hanks: Well, working with people every day. Yeah. Is.
Lead you there, but I don’t consider myself as a specialist in any way, but I do find it extremely fascinating to the idea of what [00:28:00] causes people to do what they do. Yeah. I mean, that, that to me is just fascinating. I guess it’s part of what you do every day, but you, you described our podcast today as exploring human emotions or going into that topic and I’ll, I’m like, oh great.
It’s it’s only the most complicated topic that exists on earth human emotions. Oh, here we go. Buckle
Chris Gazdik: up. Here we go. But you know, what’s funny about that. And I would, and I would say to all our listeners out there, this is why I love doing the show because we, and I mean, what I say when I say let’s figure this out together, because simply thinking about these things, talking about these things, I made this.
Funny statement that do you work for psychology for a living, but you know, you, you can figure them out when we’re focusing on it, because you might not have science and, you know, in all of that, that that’s totally grounded in, but there’s a sense in us, you know, we’re [00:29:00] made the way that we’ve were made and you are the expert on what’s going on with you internally, by far beyond any S thinking psychologist or licensed clinical therapist.
Like I am like, you know, you, you might not understand all of you and that’s where we can come in together and figure those things out together. So there’s a plug for therapy if you will, if you’re out there listening. Yeah. So, you know, that positive nature is really pretty cool. And, and I think that, you know, that should hopefully give a lot of hope that when you land on something that’s really grounded, solid, and secure, feel good about that because you might very well be appropriately installing.
And I use that word sometimes. And installing an implicit bias process that that person really agrees with your son, your friend, you know, iron sharpens, iron, right. You know, we do that together. You and I, you, you, you, you have potential, particularly during intense time periods in somebody’s life to make a really [00:30:00] positive influence.
We study think about, I saw a lot more online about the negative side, because that’s what sticky and that’s where we get to. And I think that’s why we had such a strong lean when we’re talking about implicit bias and the dangers that it, that it, that it imposes imposes. It imposes some inherent dangers because you don’t even know that these negative things are buzzing around as strong as they are.
And that’s one of the reasons why this topic’s so important, right? So there’s two goals and we’re going to spend a lot of time today on the second goal, but we highlighted the important. That the science versus reminded me of, remember I was going to ad hoc this whole section that we’re doing today and, and really highlight the importance of deescalation.
What you remember about that. Do you remember anything about deescalation?
Matthew Hanks: It’s a recognizing [00:31:00] that your, your mind is going to a certain place automatically and, and being able to recognize it and taking positive steps to keep yourself from going there is that no.
Chris Gazdik: And I’m glad I asked you that way.
That’s an important, very important distinction. The second goal, you’re siting perfectly the second goal to keep yourself from going there. Okay. You, the assumption is you can’t stop yourself from going there. That’s part of the problem. That’s why you say some of the crazy stuff you say. Going at it with your spouse or I, I explained I lose my ever loving mind, unfortunately, way more often than I would like with my children.
It’s terrible to admit, I said last week, but it’s true. We’re not easily going to stop that. So we’re not easily going to stop ourselves from going to these implicit biases. That’s where deescalation comes into place. So instead of trying to do that, there’s a [00:32:00] goal of that. That’s the second goal. We spend a lot of time on that, but the first goal, which makes an immediate impact is this deescalation.
So you don’t know why you’re worked up. You don’t know why you’re all edgy. You don’t know why you’re saying what you’re saying. Stop saying what you’re saying, stop saying anything. This is the idea of don’t parent. When your anger, you were really hot on last week, right? So you can’t stop yourself from going to the implicit bias, but you can deescalate yourself and get out of that space that you’re in.
Bias creates for you, imposes on you so that you can then get more rational, more purposeful in teaching the life lesson or working this problem out with your spouse or whatever. So deescalation is the first goal and that can very easily be done. If you get good at breathing, you know, taking a walk, let’s just watch a movie and then we’ll come back to this.
I don’t know what I’m going to do with this parenting [00:33:00] problem. I’ll think about it. I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll ask my friends E D step it down. Right. Do you see how that doesn’t prevent you from going to the space that the implicit bias gets you, but it stops you from doing stupid stuff because of it.
Does it see that very important distinction? Yes. That makes sense. Yeah. And I love the way he fell into that, because I think we all think that way. But now we get into the meat of, okay, so we’re good at deescalating. We understand and believe that we have these implicit thoughts and, and, and morals and, you know, core beliefs about life and people.
We know we have them, we may identify some of them. We’re w w we’ve talked a little bit about how to backwards get into identifying them, but now let’s say, okay, we want to do the hard work, and we really want to get into ourselves and see [00:34:00] what we can do about changing these things that are automatically assumed as cold, hard facts in our subconsciousness, man.
That’s a process. Now, how daunting does that sound given what we’ve talked about with implicit bias to you, Matthew?
Matthew Hanks: Tapping into areas of my psyche and my mind that I don’t even like I’ve got access to, and now I’m going to not only see it and recognize it, but I’m going to manipulate it and change it.
I mean, it seems overwhelming, right?
Chris Gazdik: I love, I love the way he put all that because it, this is incredibly valuable work to do. And the pace is probably incredibly slow because you have to be very methodical because remember all the, while your explicit beliefs, ah, yes, I’m a good Christian. I love everybody.
Everybody has to be trusted. I’m using my arms to sort of be mocking a little bit, you know, because we see, we [00:35:00] hear a lot of that, but then we see the people’s behavior. Why do we do what we do? Because you have implicit biases that are driving a whole set of different things and you don’t even know it.
And I’m not trying to be mean on religion or anything, but I’m trying to get us to really stop pay attention. Why are you having the affair? W w why are we, why are we way over helicoptering? Our kids are, are aren’t we supposed to let them live? Why, why are we making horrible business practices and flat stealing?
What, why are we doing these things? Because we see ourselves as good people. I’m a good person. And I, and you are, you’re, you’re lovely as you are, but we want to look at what’s driving some of this crap that we’ve got going on, right? This is in our face. This is in your face, and you’re looking at your face.
And, and, and that’s that’s a difficult thing to do. I don’t know about you, but I’d just like to go along and believe in. I’m a wonderful, friendly person all the time, and, you know, [00:36:00] jolly and happy. And, you know, the face that I put on for the public is the way I really feel, not, not quite. So let’s get into that.
How do we do that? How do we get into that? Alright. I brainstormed a lot of this. And we’ll go down through my ideas. And then there was a cool article, you know, that I kind of tagged on as well. If, if we have time and, and I think we will, and that’ll be a little bit of a checks and balances to see how we, how we did.
So the first big thing I want to maybe suggest here off the get go is how successful do you think you will be at examining and changing, or even knowing that you have these implicit biases by yourself?
Matthew Hanks: Maybe it depends on how self-aware you are.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah, I, I don’t think you’ll hardly have to have a shot [00:37:00] zero chance. I’m not going to say zero, but I, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know that you really have a legitimate shot because of what the power of your psychological system is. There’s a reason why. There’s a reason why you’ve repressed this trauma experience.
You don’t even remember what happened. I, I, I have people in therapy all the time that as I get a long-term relationship built, we start stumbling upon things that they didn’t even know happened in their life. You know, with, with, with stronger things like that, the psychological dynamic of repression, you don’t have a shot cause you don’t even know what happened.
So it has to come with interactions, safe and secure interactions with others. The loving touch of another person can give you the safety and encouragement to involve [00:38:00] yourself in that because you’re not alone, but let’s back off that ledge. And just say people that have that implicit bias combating with their explicit bias that we just expose.
You’re you live in your thoughts. If your thoughts, before you even know what your thoughts are, are created from something implicit, such as racism sometimes very much is you don’t even know your racial in the way that you’re thinking. And so explicitly you believe your whatever, but implicitly before you even had that explicit thought, it’s already in drive mode.
How do you recognize that? Not dramatic, nothing weirdly really weird and Mugu, but I don’t think you have much of a shot of identifying that and working to manage that alone. [00:39:00] See what
Matthew Hanks: I’m saying? So is this back to the iron sharpens iron that you smoke?
Chris Gazdik: Yes. What do you think happens in iron sharpening?
Right. When you see somebody operating some way, you love them and you care about them and you have a very different, even if you don’t know it, you have a very different implicit bias than what the other person has. What’s likely to happen. You’re going to compare notes. You really might not even know that you’re comparing your both implicit biases, but you are.
And that actually forces you to examine a little bit closer. Maybe both swords get sharper because you’re both looking at what might be operational and didn’t even know it, right? That can’t happen alone. You’re just an operation. You’re moving. You just groove and you’re just living. But when you come across an inconsistency [00:40:00] between two people just being friends or, you know, coach church members or Cub scout leaders, whatever girl scout leaders, When you connect with other people you culturally begin to develop, here’s a whole nother level that we won’t get into cultural implicit biases.
Is that a word? Right? I think about that for a second. Just let that sink in and then we’re going to get off of that because that that’ll take us that’s too much. So if I made a good case that this is really difficult to do alone, you really need to do it with other people. Certainly a therapy environment, safe environments are probably a prerequisite.
So how good are you at being able to feel vulnerable and have those conversations? How willing are you to really discuss things and open up to stuff you might not even know? Is there is it takes a good friend. It takes a safe environment. [00:41:00] It’s takes a process and, and retouching it multiple times. Does that make sense?
Oh yeah, much more effective together than. Alone. I’m going to maintain the bold statement. You kind of almost don’t have a shot, even if you’re stupid, self-aware by very definition, you can’t be aware of something that’s implicit crazy.
Matthew Hanks: I’m following where you’re going with
Chris Gazdik: that. Okay. So let’s look at some of the things that we’ve got in how to, how to actually engage in that process.
Yeah. I said prerequisite and admit we have them and then work to identify them. We talked about that. Talk about tacit learning. I not going to go there because we, we discussed that last show in episode 58 and 59 from episode 1 0 3, challenged the assumptions we live by. There’s a lot there with this topic guys.
That’s a really good one to listen to that. Casey and I did. Okay. So allow for, and ask for positive [00:42:00] feedback. What’s assumed in allow for an ask for positive feedback, right? You’re with somebody it’s back to that, you can’t do it alone. So let me use a, for example, here that pops in my mind, Matthew, how comfortable is it these days to have political conversations with people,
Matthew Hanks: maybe more difficult
Chris Gazdik: than ever. I’m almost to the point of taking my brother’s attitude of, I don’t want to do it. I used to love doing that. I really did this political environment sucks. I’ll make that statement. I’m sorry if it pisses anybody off, but it does. And I don’t know that I didn’t want to have that conversation.
Why? Because if I actually invite more feedback on what it is that I’m thinking and seeing about any particular topic, let’s just say the Southern border, right. As a random topic and I state something and I invite you to give me [00:43:00] feedback. What am I liable to you?
Right. Particularly if we disagree now, you didn’t see this on the audio only version, but I blew my head back through my arms up and pretended like, I was just overrun. How vulnerable is it to actually ask for, Hey, Matthew, I’m worked up about, you know, there’s something in my life. But you know, I, I’m really fearful about my kid and he’s doing this and he’s doing that.
I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what to do. You know, here’s the situation, man. What are you, what do you think? Do you think people have conversations like that? Very often?
Matthew Hanks: Not with strangers. Yeah. I mean, you’d have to have that trust built in a friendship. I think before you’d be that vulnerable.
Chris Gazdik: It’s tough, scary, intimidating, potentially shameful guilt. Those are powerful things. That’s [00:44:00] going to hold you back. But if you get into, which is why, by the way, a very safe, you know, environment with a therapy environment, or maybe with your pastor or in a small group or in an AA meeting or in a relationship with your sponsor or people that you really get intimately close with in friendship, maybe your spouse, but that’s loaded because there’s a lot of emotion there.
Those are places that you can seek out and allow people to kind of pour into you a little bit and put some checks and balances. And from time to time, you’re going to find some incongruencies and that person can help you identify political or parental or financial implicit bias beliefs. And you, them, you, them in return, right?
That is a huge, huge reality. Okay. Focus on little successes. The jar of success, the feel-good file. [00:45:00] Craig’s talked about this on our show and I think with us, you know, privately off, off hand it, you know, what the jar of success is. You remember him talking about all of that by chance, where
you
Matthew Hanks: have a way to go back and remind yourself of all your successes along the way.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. I have a feel-good file literally right over there to my, to my left and I pull it out every now and again, when I’m worried about something or worked up or doubt in something insecure about something, then it’s a great reminder, particularly going back to the positive based implicit biases that we have that we might not explicitly think about.
But implicitly we know and understand when you’ve had these great moments and you’ve had these implicit bias development, positive moments. You can go back to them. And that’s psychologically, what builds you up and encourages you to conquer the world that takes our success [00:46:00] manuals and books that we read and mastermind to a different level?
Doesn’t it sure does.
Can you comment about that? I’m curious because that’s a cool thought. Well, how does that place, what we know to be successful in business in a different light
Matthew Hanks: being reminded of the successes along the way? Well, it’s important because you can get so rundown sometimes with the challenges that you face and just being reminded that of all the times that you’ve won along the way, sports teams are great at it.
Yeah. You know, I mean, you’re, you’re, you’re looking at those things before you’re, as you’re running out of the tunnel onto the field, you know, be reminded of the light. And the history and all the past successes. And let’s go do it one more time. You’ve got it inside
Chris Gazdik: of you, man. Yeah. Bam. It occurs to me that we hear people that are talking about success manuals in business, you know, the seven habits of most successful people and stuff like that, then that people love to [00:47:00] catch on to.
Yeah, this is the, I think the psychological basis for that. Yeah. And how we repair or examine or remind ourselves to confront the negative implicit bias. That’s probably operational a feel good file. A do good jar. You know, those types of history with successes in a sports team that regenerates your ability to combat what you believe you can’t do because of implicit bias.
Well,
Matthew Hanks: I, and I, I remember being taught and I don’t know where this was from, but the thing that you’re looking for from your father as your. Is whether or not you have what it takes because the father love is about is oftentimes about
Chris Gazdik: achievements. You can do anything you want to do. So, and sky’s the limit, right?
Matthew Hanks: Yeah. And you know, the, the mother love is more just, just being, you know, you know, no matter what you do, no matter what you achieve or don’t achieve, you know, your, your mom was going to love you and you know [00:48:00] that. Yeah. But the, but the daddy love the father. Love is you know, when, when you achieve, you know, son, what have you accomplished?
Did you make the football team? Did you score the touchdown, those types of things. And so kids need to hear from their dad that they have what it takes to make it it’s one of the big things that you’re, as you grow up that you’re wanting to hear, or you’re longing to hear from your dad, is that. Whether you call it the blessing or whether you call it the affirmation from the father figure, but you’re looking to, as you growing up, you’re looking to hear
Chris Gazdik: from that a parent is trying to install an implicit bias about your ability and what you can accomplish and what the opportunities are, which might be combating against what the world is trying to teach you.
You don’t have enough money. You don’t have enough fame. You don’t have enough Nike Jordan shoes. Who was it? That was talking about Neil. That, oh, is Casey wasn’t she, her kid was like, did you buy me fake? Nike’s because the world was [00:49:00] teaching her kid. You’re not good enough because you got fake Nike’s she’s like, do what did I do that?
I don’t even know.
Matthew Hanks: No, the mother didn’t. Exactly. Yeah. I remember it reminds me of a time. Like I can speak to this. It reminds me of a time I was on the way to dinner with my family. And my oldest son asked me, he said, dad, do you think I could ever be a Navy seal? Oh, wow. So do you think that could be a Navy seal?
Yeah. And Chris, there was something that overcame me. Oh wow. It was like something possessed my body and my response to him. And they had all eaten. I mean, I started in at that moment when he asked that and they, we all the way through the line to order the food, to sit down and eat and everyone was done eating and my food’s still sitting in front of me cause I was still just going, oh wow.
Because it was inside of me that if there’s anything that I want my child to understand, especially my oldest son or both of us. Yes, you can. Absolutely. You can so
Chris Gazdik: powerful and [00:50:00] poignant example of something that might be in a positive, implicit bias that you’re trying and desperately wanting to install into the life teachings to, to your son.
And you know, I’m thinking of a, of a young lady out there, it says. Mommy. Mommy, can I be president of the United States someday? And I know that’s a little more charged, right? The female, you know, gender gaps that we can have in all. Yes. Daughter.
Matthew Hanks: Yeah, of course you can. Absolutely. You can.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. But it goes against some of the, what the world is teaching us all the while.
So there’s this ebb and flow, right? There’s this battle that we’re trying to go and wage, you know, the battle within people talk about that. This is it in a large extent what we’re talking about today. Yeah. That’s
Matthew Hanks: all. But the positive bias though, inside, I feel like as that, you know, the, the set of core values and what I believe, I believe it is my job as a dad [00:51:00] to make sure those boys understand that.
Yeah. And, and girl got a daughter as well, but I’m talking about when it comes to the Navy seal, But they have it inside of them to do that. All they have to do is want it bad enough.
Chris Gazdik: The tricky thing is there’s, there’s an implicit nature to what you’re saying now. I think I’m not sure I’ll say this and I think we need to move on and get off of it.
But you’re, you’re speaking implicitly, I’m sorry, explicitly in what you believe, but when you weren’t eating your food, that felt more like something implicit, because you don’t know why you weren’t eating. You need to realize you weren’t eating. Right. And it might be congruent. There, there might be congruence there, but sometimes there’s in congruence there.
In fact, a lot of times there’s in congruence there, but that’s a moment when you’re experiencing something like that. Like what’s going on with. There’s something to answer there. And it’s really worthwhile to do these things, to backtrack, to take some iron sharpening iron, to really take some time meditate on it, work on it, [00:52:00] set your tacit, learning on it.
I know that might make sense if you sense, if you didn’t hear that episode and let your spirit kind of work that out as is, and it’s cool stuff. So there’s, there’s that kind of differential a little bit. So let’s move on with goal setting, you know, I mean, that’s what that made it on my list right? Of good old goal-setting.
I said, you know, these are things that when you set goals for yourself, explicitly purposefully, part of the benefit there that you might not even realize is it might be attacking some of your implicit bias. I had a goal of reading 12. I’m making this up of reading 12 books this year. That was my explicit goal.
Why didn’t I get to it? Well, what’s implicitly holding you back. Something there that you really had a burning desire to do this, a belief in a moral code and compass that I, this is something that I should, I should be doing. And then he didn’t, well, that sets up an opportunity to see, well, why didn’t I, this probably happens with finances a lot.
I’ve got financial [00:53:00] goals. I didn’t meet them. I really were burning inside of me to do goal setting, sets up an opportunity to kind of see, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on with me? That I didn’t do that. Casey and I were talking and she kind of made it really an important point to speak to people’s implicit minds.
I think about being enough. So you’ve remembered a few episodes ago with Casey implicitly. You might not believe that I’m enough shame that guilt. I need more. I need to do more. I don’t produce enough. I haven’t, I haven’t parented well enough. I’m not a good enough dad. I am not a good enough mom. There you are enough.
And when you set goals and look at these things with friends, Do these things in combination that I’m listing here, you begin to attack that implicit bias that you didn’t even know. You don’t think you’re enough. See if you really get into the weeds with that a little bit, not saying get stuck in it, [00:54:00] but if you get into the weeds a little bit minutiae a little bit, you can kind of search back and, and identify these things and how rewarding it is.
When, when we do remember the change self strategy, we recently talked about choose one good thing and one bad thing. That’s something that we’ve listed before about building self-esteem, you know, what are you focused on? Are you focused on all these negative things about you? If you focus on one good thing, celebrate that one bad thing and build that up, change it.
You’re probably going to come across some implicit biasness when you’re changing those bad things, because now you got two good things. Choose only one more bad thing. Work on that. It might be six months. Really, it sounds crazy, but, but now you have three good things that you focus on and one bad thing and so on and so forth to where you build up these things about yourself.
If you do that process, you will be attacking implicit biases about yourself or even about beliefs about the world. [00:55:00] Objective, honest assessment of self taken inventory, such as AA. You don’t much about AA. I don’t hell of a program. It really does a lot. I’ve heard it said it’s the best for the most in recovery circles and the process they go through is daring.
It works for just life issues as well. I like to think about how living the 12 steps, not alcohol or addiction related is an amazing thing. In fact, that’d be a cool show to do someday. Right? They searched their moral inventory and Avery really look at themselves. They forget to list out the positive aspects of themselves.
And unfortunately they’ll, they’ll focus out and list all of the things that they’ve done and all the characteristics about themselves. And oh, a lot of people will like bail out of meetings and bail out of the relationship with their sponsor before they get to doing this particular thing. It’s like step five or four, you know, this, this fearless, moral inventory [00:56:00] of yourself.
Can you imagine sitting down a list and all that dude? Sure. Good. Really? I think I could. Yeah, intimidating, man. I don’t know if I want to be that honest with myself. Yeah. And then step five is actually share it with another. And I think like step six is like, and ask for, for the ability to remove some of these defects of character.
It’s crazy. And, and again, if you do a list like that, and you’re really looking at that, you will be touching on implicit bias for a short F is a gratitude. Powerful kind of like the feel good file. You know, what are you really grateful for? It gets you out of some of the negative thinking that you could do replaces you in a good one.
When you feel something negative or really pulling you back. That’s something to look at if you’re, if you’re paying attention. And if you’re mindful about, about things apologize when necessary. And it does no harm to others. Think about what apology does, right? I’ve identified [00:57:00] explicitly in my cognition that screwed up, did something wrong.
Now I’m going to offer you an apology, Matthew, because I shouldn’t have said what I said there and, you know, MEA culpa, you know, I hope you can forgive me, but that process of acknowledging that and going through an apology, particularly an involved Paul apology, where we have a conversation about something I did a year ago or whatever you’re going to be looking at.
Why did I do. You might even ask me if I’m apologizing to you, what Chris? I, you know, you’re, you’re my boy. I appreciate it. And you’re fine. No harm, no foul. We move on, but I mean, why did you punch me in the face a year ago? I don’t really understand what you did now. That we’re good. You know, can we talk about that?
Like, why did you do what you did? That’s the title, right? Why do we do what we do? So when you’re offering apologies and identifying that you have an opportunity to touch on implicit bias, refute, negative messages [00:58:00] that others are giving you unless they’re out, unless they’re true. And usually they’re not, you know, the world’s going to give you a lot of negative messages and you know, you can believe them.
You can try to blow them off and just let them get into your psyche, which they will. If I tell you you’re a poor dresser, Matthew, and often we’re really close and tight and you value my opinion. What are you going to believe about how. I’m picking on that. Y’all because he’s an awesome dresser. The power of persuasion in human interactions do not misunder state do not miss understand, do not devalue.
They are powerful in the way that people perceive us, which by the way, negative criticisms really hurt. Y’all you have a critical person in your life. That is a lot of pain. There’s a lot of negative implicit bias, particularly if you hear it over and over and over again, [00:59:00] boy, we can go down a bunny trail with that.
Let me just pause real quick. And I’m aware of the time I’m going to kind of fast forward through some of these other ones. I was
Matthew Hanks: wondering if we’re looking at a part three on this.
Chris Gazdik: No, but we could re why did he say that?
Matthew Hanks: Looking at the notes because it’s like, as we have gone through this, each one of the things that we’ve come up with.
Like the 12 step, like the trust, like the iron sharpens iron. I mean, each of those could be a show. You can take that into full on a podcast, just each one of those topics.
Chris Gazdik: That’s what I tell Neil. I’m a content pit man, because these are involved dynamic things that we’re all experiencing. Yeah. So you, so what word might fit there?
I just wanted to tap into what you’re experiencing with our conversation. Kind of a, a sense of all at how involved these things can be or an overwhelmed feeling or a fuzzy lostness. I mean, what, what is that?
Matthew Hanks: Just a discovery process, because you know, these [01:00:00] topics, there’s so much substance there that almost feels like we’re doing injustice just to mention it and then move on just for the sake of time, because.
There’s just so much depth to each one of those.
Chris Gazdik: And I’m glad you said that. And I make the point that we talk about these things on the show. Some of these they’re not repeats and rinse and rewash they’re how do we apply these things? You know, how do they, how do they interact with what we’re doing? The idea we’re looking at today is why do we do what we do last week was why do we believe what we believe?
But you see the overlap. It’s really implicit bias. Part one, part two. I mean, that’s what we’re talking about, right? But it implies, or I’m sorry, but it impacts what we believe. And it also impacts what we do. It also impacts our experience with anxiety. We’re not talking about that tonight, but there’s, so we cover these things and, and, and if you stick with us, you begin learning them and whatnot.
Let me fire through a little bit here because I’m aware of the time. Unfortunately wouldn’t it be like to have Joe Rogan’s three hour deal? We should, we, we should think about that, Neil and I don’t know. Maybe not. Do you want to [01:01:00] stay here till 10? We need to get started a little
Matthew Hanks: earlier or bring food in and had dinner.
Oh no,
Chris Gazdik: you poor dude. This one’s a hard one here to confront those that are mean to us in the present. Stop a bully, tell him to back off, tell him to stop, tell him, you know, and then get objective third party. If he need, we did do a whole show on that one, whatever very early on, when you are confronting people that are mean to you, you are probably also directly confronting an implicit bias as well as developing assertiveness and positive self-esteem as again, another example of overlap, but that negativity that you’re getting from that person can be inadvertently installing stuff in your experience, particularly as a little kid.
So when you’re teaching your son or your daughter to stand up to a bully, you’re potentially installing some implicit bias, some beliefs about themselves. And then when they execute that. You’re confronting [01:02:00] it inside. They’re confronting it inside themselves. Pretty cool thing, but it’s really hard to confront people.
I know you might disagree with that, but listen to those past shows and you’ll understand what I mean, use the intellect to confront the negative core beliefs, which is likely a part of our emotional brain hard to do, but not impossible. How I’m just going to mention that because that’s what therapy is all about.
Let me say that again. You use the intellect to cognitively confront the negative core beliefs, which is likely imbedded or an automatic process in your emotional brain. Hard to do, but it can be done. It’s not impossible. I do it all day long, radical acceptance. Part of the program called dialectical behavioral therapy, augmented to radically accept self.
Radical acceptances, except at the basic terms and turn your brain off, confront your brain, that refutes something that you’re trying to radically accept. [01:03:00] And you’re going to rub up against implicit biases, reframe, reframe, reframe, develop a different perspective out of a new truth. We’re learning new things all the time.
When you come across new information. COVID right. Which seems like we get new information every week. Well, that’s going and it’s okay that we do because it’s new. That’s why people get so bothered about that. Somebody changes their mind. What’s new information. We get new life lessons. We get new life experiences.
We get new tragic events that happen in our life. And those are opportunities to examine. Wait a minute. What did I previously assume that I now have an opportunity to really learn, right? Leave yourself positive messages. Is this the simple thing again, to feel? Good file kind of concept meditate on the positive message.
What did I say sounds wooey I like the word psychological Lulu, because there’s garbage junk that we talk about. Donors standing is like hard to grasp, but, but honestly it can work. Let me see. Oh yeah. I said Craig’s house [01:04:00] that day with his meditative channel meditate on positive messages. That that’s probably a good, a good way to wrap up and then check the show notes out.
Y’all cause there’s a whole article that I didn’t get it. It actually talked about some of the same things I’ve talked about. I’m sure to understand maybe religious beliefs, sermons you know self-help books, religious texts that you’re reading when you’re flooding your brain with all of that, you might not really even know.
You know what’s happening, but when you’re, when you’re trusting the source and you’re getting good sources, good financial advice from a financial planner that you trust and value, he’s going to tell you the same message. Maybe five times over the course of 10 years, your medical, doctor’s gonna talk to you about medical things that you know, and they work on you.
They work on you and you let that happen. You just let that seep in. Right. That’s going to automatically challenge [01:05:00] your implicit bias. So I’m hanging out at Craig’s house, right? You know how he is? He’s he’s got this stuff on the, was he in his ice bath and that’s another topic. No, it was not in his ice pass, but he’s got this stuff on the TV, man.
Okay. Matthew, sorry, Matt calming sounds way. Beautiful pictures of cars and people. And the words just written under you are powerful. You are wealthy. You are all knowing in your own truth, you know, it’s just, and I was tired that day. We were getting ready to record. I’m hanging out, waiting on Craig to do his stuff and whatever.
And it was probably like six minutes, man. And I, and I was just sitting there in a chair, just, you know, hanging out and I got up ready to record. And I was like, dude, I am way mellow to do the show. And I realized what had happened half the time. I wasn’t [01:06:00] even looking at the TV, Matthew and it, but it washed over me.
It was really, really cool. Does that sound crazy? Oh no. That is touching your subconsciousness.
Matthew Hanks: No, that’s you know that what was being sent out there? You’re just let it wash over you. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: Your subconsciousness is your ally. It will work for you. I’ll tell you in wrapping up here, allow your spirit to work for you.
Like Casey said, you are enough. I loved her message. And understand that there are things in the world that are working against you, but you are all powerful in your own spirit. No professional is more professional on yourself than you are. And I want you to have a lot of hope about all the positive implicit biases that you have, but also understand that the negative ones that really rub you wrong, that are hurting you.
You absolutely can go through this process with a safe individual in your life and really change core pieces of you where you’re in control of you. So I [01:07:00] hope that’s a positive message. People really kind of get closing thoughts real quick or anything.
Matthew Hanks: It reminds me of, we had a certain CD that we would always play we to put our kids to bed.
And it was I think the name of it was actually Washed in, the word, oh, it just scripture. It was just lullabies and scripture just all night long. Just let it, just let it wash over them.
Chris Gazdik: It is.
Matthew Hanks: It’s because it works even when you’re sleeping. Right. I mean, it happened when you were sitting there, so, but you’re unconscious,
Chris Gazdik: the womb, like you talked about last week.
It can work when you’re sleeping. There you go. Y’all have a great week. We’ll see you soon. Take care.